Fling or Ring? Nicole and Steve

AKA: Nic

Years racked up: 37

Known for?: Being the frizzy-haired Aussie redhead wife of überstar Tom Cruise, whom, upon their shock divorce, suddenly transformed into the most exceptionally talented and in-demand Oscar-winning Hollywood actress.

Is involved in a love thing with...

Who? Steve Bing

AKA: 'Sleazeball' (according to the Mirror)

Years racked up: 39

Known for?: Being an poor little rich boy who became an erstwhile Hollywood film producer (thanks for Kangaroo Jack, there, Steve) and squired many beauties around town. Most notoriously, he got girlfriend Elizabeth Hurley pregnant and then disputed he was the father of baby Damian, saying they weren't 'exclusive'. Tests later proved he was. Charming.

Romance rocketed when: The pair began to be spotted dining out at New York's Il Cantorini - reportedly the place where celebrities apparently go to show off their new arm candy. We just phone the papers, darling.

Make or break: This unlikely pairing appear to be in the first flush of luuurrve, if the tabloids are to be believed, what with their 'passionate kissing' across the table in LA's the Polo Lounge and 'giggling' together at Trader Vic's over Thanksgiving. With all these squelchy restaurant dates, it's a wonder they get any time to work.

Soppy speak: Not much yet, as Nicole tends to keep her cards pretty closed when it comes to talking about relationships directly (remember Lenny?) and Steve...well, we're not actually sure if he can talk, apart from muttering 'non-exclusive' occasionally.

Biz Bitch says: FFS, Nicole, what ARE you doing? This man is toxic, and unlikely to be even a tenth good enough for you. Let's look at his track record - he denied paternity, accused La Hurley of sleeping around, tried to make a film called 'Why Men Shouldn't Marry' and even another ex-girlfriend called him a 'piece of cr*p'. Phew. Now, just walk slowly away from him, come round to ours, and we’ll set you up with a nice young man...