The mothers from hell?

5 April 2012

Was it Ernest Hemingway who said that a happy childhood was a distinct disadvantage for any writer? A miserable childhood is now not only de rigueur: it can be very profitable. Nothing wrong with that.

If an individual has been tortured by exceptionally cruel parents - as Dave Pelzer was, described in his stunningly successful A Child Called It - he deserves the compensation of riches and renown, and he is entitled to bear witness to a terrible experience.

But Dave had four brothers: are we now to hear each of their stories in turn?
Richard B. Pelzer does have a story to tell, but it could have been told much more briefly than in 260 pages of often repetitious reflections.

The story is this: when Dave was being ill-treated, the child Richard sided with their hellish mother. He did this to protect himself. Then, when Dave was removed from home by the State of California at the age of 12, the vodka-fuelled vixen found her next victim in Richard.

She thrashed him on any pretext, and added to such beatings whatever other form of domestic torment came into her head. On one occasion she forced little Richard to swallow Tabasco sauce, raw and undiluted. It burned his mouth painfully, but she continued, and then made him lick off the ground 'like a dog' any fallen drops.

The woman was a sadist, and deserves every particle of calumny heaped upon her. And yet, although this book is padded out with many ruminations about the wounded inner child, there are unexplained aspects of this case.

The father disappeared off the scene because he was frightened of his ghastly wife. This corroborates Erin Pizzey's claim - disputed by some feminists - that women can intimidate men just as much as the other way around.

Yet Pelzer Snr's action in abandoning five sons in these circumstances seems exceptionally cowardly.

And it's extraordinary that no one else in the wider family noticed what was going on. Were there no friends, neighbours, teachers, local church or community groups who observed the character of this psychopathic woman?

Richard Pelzer says that people were unaware of child abuse in the Seventies, but that doesn't seem to answer all the questions left hanging in the air.

Nor do we learn what happened to 'Mom' after Richard finally plucked up the courage to escape from her. (He reckons that he had to 'say goodbye to the inner child' before he could walk away from his tormenter, which does, of course, make sense. Children may yearn to be loved by even the cruellest parent.)

Kevin Lewis's story is, similarly, a sequel to his bestseller, The Kid, in which he describes his own mother from hell, Gloria. This is his account of
what happened next. But again, the narrative is over-written and the author visibly struggles to fill his 250 pages.

Here is an element of revisiting the horrific Gloria - and Kevin's timid dad, Dennis - to ensure she is kept away from the next generation of children: although, as Kevin's sister's five kids are themselves in care, it does raise the question of generational dysfunction in this family.

Kevin describes other activities he has pursued, since 'dealing with his demons': publishing his book - there is a lot about visiting the publisher, describing the publisher's front hall, hearing that Michael Joseph has 'quadrupled its offer' - as well as attending film production school, visiting Argentina, pursuing his inventions and, indeed, making a happy marriage and fathering two children himself.

But the truth is that once he has told the story of his abused childhood, there isn't that much more to tell.

He does have some sensible recommendations about monitoring child cruelty. While Richard Pelzer seems to believe that we have this under control because we are so much more aware of abuse, Kevin Lewis knows that human nature doesn't change, and there will always be bad and sadistic parents.

He underlines the need for more fostering and more adoption of infants over three years of age.

There is a cultural problem here, however: adoption is not favoured nowadays - the mother-child blood bond is always considered superior.

But if the Pelzer and Lewis books show anything, they show that there are blood-mothers who are thorough-going monsters.

Both of these books are without photographs, which I think is a defect. Sincerity and plausibility would have been enhanced by the odd snapshot of the authors and their worlds.

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