Sail away from the January blues

Every January, as most of us prepare for the worst stretch of winter, some lucky folk have more exciting prospects.

Not for them the queue for cold remedies at the chemist. They're off on one of the longest and grandest of escapes - a three-month cruise around the world. For some it sounds heavenly - nearly 100 days of boozing and snoozing in the sun, fine dining and dancing. Not everyone, however, can cope with being incarcerated with strangers for 12 weeks. Before you even think of booking, check which of the following cruiser categories you fit into.

The millionaire

If you want to meet one, you've picked a good hunting ground. Round-the-world cruises attract some seriously wealthy people, like the man who spends upwards of £500,000 each year on booking QE2's two top suites; he keeps around 25 pieces of luggage on the ship year-round, and brings more than 100 - as well as his own mattress - for the circumnavigation. Sadly for fortune hunters, he also brings his wife. The ship's shore-excursion staff are ready, willing and able to arrange in-port limousines, bookings at top restaurants and even the occasional private helicopter tour for anyone with cabin fever and cash to spare.

The eccentric

You don't have to be one ... but it helps. You'll get good value for your money as eccentricities are as water off a ship's prow to the crew. Cunard staff still recall colourful veterans like Clara MacBeth, who spent a record 14 years cruising non-stop on the ship in the 1960s, and who replied, when asked whether she would venture ashore during a port call at Sydney, "I visited Australia in 1949. I don't think I'll bother getting off again." Another legend is Jerry Kaye, a Florida-based hat fetishist; she would book a separate cabin for her enormous collection of titfers - and sport a different one every day of the voyage. At least she made it to dinner on time, unlike the elderly lady convinced that, if she waited long enough outside her cabin, a bus would come along and carry her to the dining room.

The playhard

Entrepreneurs, still wedded to their businesses for most of the year, are beginning to go for it big time when they do take time off. One fiftysomething couple I met really had taken the plunge, booking the full three-month circumnavigation as their first holiday at sea. To their surprise, they loved it and described it as the most relaxing holiday they'd ever taken - confounding their company's lawyer, who had laid bets on how soon they'd go berserk and head for home.

The "sector" passenger

Be prepared for put-downs. Social one-upmanship prevails - less about the category of cabin than the length of the cruise. World cruises are invariably split into shorter fly-cruise sectors, attracting a younger clientele that QE2's circumnavigatory elite regard as dÈclassÈ. As one put it: "They rather spoil the atmosphere and often spread coughs and sniffles when they come on board."

Top tip: less is more for evenings. Put a couple of tracksuits in alongside the dinner jacket. Those-in-the-know will tell you, the essence of world cruising is to be comfy on long days at sea when the most you can handle is a game of deck quoits and a quiet read in the library.

Why cruise the world if you're not planning a shoppingfest? Buy as you go for up to 12 fancy dress balls. Best costume to date was sported at a Valentine's Day ball - a vast gown covered in hundreds of tiny, twinkling hearts. In the best ballroom dancing tradition, the wearer had sewn them all on by hand.

Top tip: World cruises allow much more time in port than shorter sailings - two or three days in cities like Hong Kong. Leave plenty of suitcase space.

How to do round-the-world: Cunard Line (0800 052 3840; www.cunardline.com): a classic, weird and wonderful experience; P&O Cruises (020 7800 2222; www.pocruises.com): very British atmosphere, good entertainment; Silversea Cruises (0870 333 7030; www.silversea.com): rub shoulders with European meritocrats on a small, very elegant ship; Seabourn Cruises (0800 052 3841; www.seabourn.com): discreetly loaded Brits and Americans. Radisson Seven Seas Cruises (0238 068 2285; www.rssc.com): clientele with lots of style. Crystal Cruises (020 7287 9040; www.crystalcruises.com): wellheeled, largely American clientele.

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