Real hideaways for the celebrities

News of Joan Collins's

What has grabbed the headlines, though, is a cute little wooden B&B in Auckland, which the sexagenarian star has booked for her honeymoon. Ms Collins has eschewed the glitz that she can most certainly afford - in the $1,000-a-night resorts of the Caribbean or the belle epoque bastions of the mink-and-Gucci bag brigade on the Italian Lakes - and chosen, instead, to honeymoon in a humble, homely, colonial-style establishment in New Zealand for less than 100 quid a night.

While we think they're all having dinner with Michael Winner (at Sandy Lane) and swapping gold-disc anecdotes with Chris Blackwell (at Goldeneye, one of his resorts in Jamaica), a holidaying star's needs are far simpler.

THE LAKE DISTRICT

Nicole Kidman used to follow the tradition of decades of Sydneysiders when she sloped off to the Cleopatra Restaurant and Guesthouse in the Blue Mountains. The five-bedroom, 19th century house has recently been taken over and tarted up. But when Kidman visited, the rooms weren't even all en suite. Cottages in the hills seem to be where Kidman relaxes best - she and Tom Cruise used to hole up at the Samling, a rambling Lakeland estate of stone cottages dotted across a fell overlooking Lake Windermere. Dinner is taken in the main house, a brisk walk from your cosy home-from-home. Hardly see-through frock and Jimmy Choo slingback territory, even in summer.

IBIZA

Kylie loves to holiday in Ibiza. While the party set are busy bagging the everything-with-knobson mega villas, though, our Kylie's relaxing by the pool at a very modest three-bed art deco affair atop a mountain, according to celebrity travel agent Earth. Kylie's neat retreat costs a fraction of the £10,000-a-week rate to which the best villas soar in high summer. It's reached by winding hairpin roads and, bless her cotton socks, she even tidies up before she leaves.

BALI

Hollywood hangs out at the Amanresorts, but Givenchy supremo Julien MacDonald prefers to unpack his sarongs at the Puri Ganesha villas on the beach at Pemuteran, a fishing village in the relatively undiscovered north-west of the island. "Our tropical villas by the sea offer romantic and exotic honeymoon getaways and unique island wedding ideas," says the website blurb. The family-run resort consists of four two-storey thatched villas with terraces looking out to sea - and they cost less than £300 a night.

MARRAKESH

Yves Saint-Laurent may have more time to spend at his Marrakesh home, but working designers prefer to slum. In the depths of the souk, off the city's popular square, Djmaa el Fna, Jean Paul Gaultier can be found at Dar Zellije. This four-suite riad has no frills other than its 17th century architecture. The interior is a simple affair of white calico banquettes - not a lantern or swathe of silk in sight - and not all the bathrooms are en suite. Staff don't speak English and trying to make a reservation is reminiscent of calling a Lonely Planet B&B somewhere in Outer Mongolia. The rate is less than £100 a night.

JAMAICA

If you want to chill with the local rastas, swap stories over a Red Stripe and hitch a lift to Black River to check out the market, then the cast at Jake's - Dougie the barman, Ted the fisherman and owner Jason Henzell - have got what you want. The Jamaican-boho style of this collection of unpretentious cottages on a quiet cove suits Kate Moss. An hour from Montego Bay, it's a galaxy apart from the manicured luxury of Round Hill.

BRIGHTON

Once he cavorted on pristine white Caribbean beaches with Patsy, now Liam Gallagher is more likely to be spotted on the pebbles of windswept Brighton beach. He's been staying on the seafront at Blanche House. Best described as a themed B&B, it is also known as Groucho on Sea, due to being co-owned by the club's former bar manager Chris Edwardes. Liam (and Zoe and Norm) pay a paltry £100 a night for the services of a wicked cocktail barman, ex-Gordon Ramsay chef and plastic roses staple-gunned to the wall.