You Beauty! Annabel Rivkin's cabinet of wonders

I've lost my lustre, have you? I've had that evil thing that's been going round, have you? And the days are getting longer, which is a yearned-for joy except that there are more hours of daylight to cast aspersions on my general dullness. After months of keening towards every ray, I rather want to enter a new kind of hibernation. Annoying to segue from 'Too cold to go out' into 'Too revolting to be seen'.

Winter has burrowed into our bones and our sun-kissed summer selves seem only a distant, teasing possibility. Fake tan seems to sit unhelpfully atop truly white flesh. And a warming foundation? Well, beware the tidemarks of March.