You beauty!

I just looked in the mirror. I shouldn't have. It was a rookie mistake. I should do what is wise and look at my face only in small sections, thereby swerving the full force of the make-up free January death mask.

Fake tan? No point. I am a self-tan fan but it works best on top of a base tan which, assuming you go on holiday/sit in the park in July or August, can carry you through to Christmas. But now that Winter White has settled in, tanning cream seems to emphasise the blotches and horror.

You will not - or should not - be using the same foundation you did in September because the colour and texture of your skin is different. Your skin changes just as your figure changes (sometimes daily) so keep an eye trained on it, do your make-up in daylight and get fussy about tide lines. Constant vigilance.

For daytime you need a base that is true to your skin tone. It might feel ashen but going too dark is as inelegant as squeezing yourself into a too-small dress. This is where bronzer comes in, namely Guerlain's Terracotta bronzing powder. A proper classic, the compact itself is tortoise shell-y and sleek. The powder is so fine that you can layer it or contour with it, rather than tango-ing yourself in one fatal stroke. And there is no glitter.

The colour I use to warm up in winter (01, for fair brunettes) becomes my mattifying, finishing powder in August. This is no-make-up make-up; the most important kind. When men say that they like women without make-up they are not so much lying as deluded. In August that might be possible. In January it would be insane.