The real action takes place behind the walls of the wildly expensive real estate – some of the costliest in the world. When the Princes visited they stayed in a private house owned by the parents of school friends, but I bet that their accommodation wasn't half as swish as the cottage where my husband and I were holed up. We were staying at CK Rock, an old farmhouse just renovated by British banker Charlie Berman, co-founder of the brokerage firm Amias Berman & Co. Everything has been done to the very highest spec, from the fully integrated sound system, piping music into every room, to the beautiful slate floor. Adjacent to the cottage is Berman's own newly built holiday pile, and shared between the two properties is an oval infinity pool overlooking the Camel Estuary, with an articulated cover that emerges from the bottom of the pool at the push of a button, and a Jacuzzi sending up plumes of steam. There is also a marble-clad shower block (no sandy feet in the house, please) and a man cave where Berman keeps his fleet of shiny vehicles. If Batman built a holiday house in Cornwall, this would be it.
Prince William, with his love of fast motorbikes, would feel right at home, as would Kate, busy heating up ready-made pizzas in the new state-of-the-art Rayburn. In fact, as I was nosing through a cupboard containing every board game imaginable and a cache of sunhats, I came upon a well-loved cap with the insignia WILLS. For a moment I thought I might be holding the royal headgear. But further inspection revealed this to be a clever branding exercise by the surfing Sloane's fashion label of choice – Jack Wills.