The joy of giving an off-list wedding gift, by Alex Eagle

Of course it is important to give your friends something they want, but traditional registries can be so disheartening.

Just how much do they really want the hi-tech toaster? How important is it that they think of you every time they make toast?

I like going off-list because it means you can be creative and spoil your friends with things they would never buy for themselves. Nowadays people have been living together for years, and so they have all the practical stuff — what they need is a bit of art and drama.

I like buying an object that could spark a collection. William Welstead’s beautiful silver tumblers; Romy Northover’s gold-rimmed crush cups; coloured Murano glass beakers — they are all pieces that walk the line between luxurious and practical. If you give one or two, it’s an amazing present; if they love them the couple can buy more and build a set.

Even more personal is commissioning an illustration or a unique monogram using the couple’s initials. I got Fee Greening to create one for my son Jack and it is so special — it works wonderfully on towels, dressing gowns, shoes, everything, and a design is something that lasts forever so I hope he’ll still be using it in years to come. Then there is the joy of doing something decadent and out of the blue, like finding out where the couple are honeymooning and surprising them with an amazing bottle of champagne.

Packaging can elevate less extravagant presents; anything looks wonderful if it emerges from a beautiful basket or a marbleised box. Whatever you do, don’t send flowers. It’s such a waste as there will be bunches left over from the decorations, and either way the couple will probably be on honeymoon and unable to enjoy them. But if you’re stuck for ideas, send a voucher for flowers, so they can order six months later when the excitement has faded and the happy day seems too long ago.

There are mine-fields in gift buying, of course. What if you like one of the couple more than the other? You could be pointed with your present — a massage just for the bride perhaps, or pieces monogramed only with the groom’s surname, so they work for the second wife, too. And if you’re worried the marriage won’t last, the details for a good divorce lawyer are always welcome.

Alex’s top 3 gift registries

1. Obviously, Alex Eagle is the perfect location for the more luxury practical items, from £10 matches or £50 candles up to a Jean Prouvé day bed.