The Crush: Tilda Swinton

We have intense feelings about the Highland-dwelling, androg-dressing, high-art superstar Tilda Swinton. She totally cuts a dash with those razor-sharp cheekbones and snappy outfits, and were we ever to meet her IRL — perhaps wrapped in directional knitwear walking the dogs on Culbin Sands — we would be equally titillated and terrified (have you seen what she does with the turkey carver in that Bowie video?). Tilda’s latest madcap project saw her sleeping in a glass box at New York’s MoMA — a gig she first performed at the Serpentine in 1995.

Not since Sam Taylor-Wood’s film of a sleeping David Beckham have we been so turned on by celebrity napping. Swoonton’s fluttering eyelids and serene, somniferous smile send shivers down our spine. We know she’s allegedly already got two partners, but if the 52-year-old fancies a bit of company next time she does something bonkers in the name of art, we’re up for it. Although now she’s done drag, nudity and creepy stuff with Karl Lagerfeld, surely the only thing left is the lead in a Richard Curtis movie? I Am Love... Actually?