Heck, we can’t even look at a picture of Tilda without whimpering, so God knows how we’d cope with a real rendezvous. Not that this will stop us trying — we’re sure after a few drams and a walk on Culbin Sands with her and the dogs, wrapped up in directional knitwear, Ms Swoonton would be a lot less intimidating. Tilda’s roles, from White Witch in Narnia to tragic mum in Kevin are as eclectic as her ‘looks’, which can veer from sexy alien to ethereal goddess. But whatever she wears on the red carpet works because Tilda possesses the kind of poise we can only dream of. Never one to turn down the chance to do something bonkers in the name of art, her latest role takes place at Paris’ contemporary art festival next month, which will at one point see Napoleon’s face projected on to her body. This sounds so wrong it can only be fabulously right. We can’t wait.
