The Crush: Prince Harry

Oi, Scarlett Johansson, Jennifer Lawrence and definitely you Kate Upton, keep your A-list mitts off Harry, he’s ours!

The party prince is heading stateside next month on an official visit (strip billiards anyone?) and Hollywood’s finest have already got their names on the guest list for parties to be hosted in Big H’s honour. But listen, ladies, Hazza is not going to be taken in by your shiny hair, glossy nails and big... personalities, so you can forget it. He digs British gals: horsey blondes, Tatler totty, double-barrelled beauties.

And yeaaah, he’s got a girlfriend who sounds like a posh lettuce leaf, but does our face look bothered?

We’re still clinging to the hope that one day the ginger prince will be our brew bitch. We’ll spend evenings playing uckers, drinking whisky, planning our honeymoon in Vegas and moaning about how bo-ring Wills and Kate are.

We don’t care that he’s inherited a receding hairline, that he likes violent video games (um, hello, we played Tomb Raider once), and is prone to getting his Little Prince out after a few. He’s our dream man, and there’s no way we’re letting Los Angeles’ crazy ladies steal him.