The Crush: Beyoncé

This year Crush has lusted after everyone from Olympic sprinters to Cabinet ministers, Hollywood stars to glamorous grandmas.

It’s hard to pin down our ‘type’, veering as we do from dreamy boys to bombastic babes in an ambisexual swoonathon, but in this, Crush’s last paean of 2013, there is only one choice — someone who makes all other pashes look like passing flings — pop goddess and digital music pioneer Beyoncé.

How completely cool do you have to be to release a record without bothering to mention it in advance? Like, oh soz, guys, I was just rehanging the Basquiats with Jay, potty-training Blue and going on a sold-out world tour, I forgot to make a fuss about the game-changing music video album I’m about to drop. Sure, she probably had an inkling that even without a promotional fanfare her new release would sell 80,000 copies in just three hours, but Crush prefers to think Queen B was simply too busy to bother bigging it up.

The new songs are Mrs Knowles-Carter at her best — all sultry soul and power pop. Each of the 17 videos gets us a little more sweaty-palmed, culminating in ‘Rocket’, which if you haven’t seen it, Crush recommends saving for next Wednesday, excusing yourself from a second round of charades, locking yourself in a dark room and enjoying with a small glass of sherry. Happy freakin’ Christmas.