The Box versus The Bridge

One is a Soho den of debauchery that teems with A-list celebrities and has the hardest door in London. The other is a rock 'n' roll bunker for mainly secret gigs owned by one of the world's richest Russian oligarchs. But while the lid has been lifted on The Box - naked dancers and screams of "drugs are good!" are believed to be commonplace - the celebrity schmoozing inside Roman Abramovich's six-month-old £20 million nightclub Under The Bridge remains largely untapped.

THE GAMES MASTERS
UTB: Under The Bridge is Abramovich's baby. The Russian owner of Chelsea FC - said to be worth $11.2 billion - lavishly installed a £2 million sound system, a hydraulic stage and HD cameras in the venue. A Chelsea insider says: "People don't realise but he is a huge music fan. And he wants this to be London's most exclusive nightclub." Abramovich certainly has the connections: Amy Winehouse, Kings of Leon and Rihanna have all performed for him privately and he's invited Gwen Stefani and Gavin Rossdale onto his £115 million Luna yacht for the past two years. 10/10
THE BOX: Simon Hammerstein is the master of ceremonies at The Box, sister club to his New York vaudeville venue of the same name. The 31-year-old grandson of lyricist Oscar Hammerstein has billed the Box as a place of "mystique, mystery and sexual openness". 8/10

LOCATION
UTB: Its off-road location - tucked away in the grounds of Chelsea Football Club behind Marco Pierre White's restaurant, Marco - means only those who know what they are looking for will find Under The Bridge. Huge steel doors guard the entrance. There are no windows. 9/10
THE BOX: Housed in the heart of Soho, The Box's old wooden doors are deceptively inconspicuous. However, its
central location makes it a target for paparazzi snapping stars stumbling out of the club in the small hours. 5/10

THE DOOR POLICY
UTB: Easy - or impossible. Abramovich's live music venue masquerades as a low-key gigging joint, with a sprinkling of shows the public can buy tickets to over the internet. However, there are only five more of these booked for the rest of the year and the acts - Taj Mahal and Emin - are hardly A-list. Even for these lower-key shows, journalists are only admitted on promising to make no mention of the Russian in their articles. The real magic at Under The Bridge can be found at the secret gigs, strictly invitation-only for Abramovich's friends and music industry insiders. Guests are ushered in through the Stamford Bridge hotels, which have direct access to the club's two VIP dressing rooms, meaning famous faces run no risk of paparazzi lurking. 8/10
THE BOX: Elite. The crowd who queue for The Box are waif-thin, aggressively well-dressed and need enough money in their pockets to be able to afford the £1,000-a-night tables and £20,000 bottles of champagne. And even that isn't enough to guarantee entrance. 9/10

THE PERFORMANCES
UTB: Since quietly opening without a launch party six months ago, Under The Bridge has secretly hosted Ellie Goulding after her royal wedding performance, Pink Floyd, the Guillemots, Ben E King and Max Weinberg of Bruce Springsteen's E Street Band, to name a few. Kate Moss is a fan. 9/10
THE BOX: Women dressed as vaginas and burlesque dancers miming and taking lines of cocaine off fellow performers' torsos - the live shows here are more X-rated than A-list. While some have been repulsed by the debauchery, others see it as an artistic hark back to Soho's seedy roots. 10/10

THE AFTER-PARTY
UTB: When Paul Rodgers of Pink Floyd performed earlier this year, Abramovich promptly invited the rest of the band down to the venue for an after-party to their tour and spent the night mingling with the rock heroes of his impoverished childhood. Beyoncé was set to stage her post-Glastonbury secret gig - attended by Jay-Z, Gwyneth Paltrow and Adèle - at the Chelsea venue earlier this year until organisers realised that UTB already had another gig scheduled for that night. 9/10
THE BOX: At 3.30am, on busy weekend nights when the crowd's appetite has not been satiated, the most opened-minded guests at the Box are invited upstairs to a room for a private show. What exactly happens in this room is shrouded in secrecy. 9/10

THE EXCESS
UTB: Under The Bridge cost £20 million to build and James Cafarelli, designer of the House of Blues chain of US venues, was hired to revamp the interior. Superstars who perform enjoy en-suite dressing rooms, complete with X-Boxes, kitchens and champagne. But the real excess of the after-show parties remains top secret due to Under The Bridge's reclusive location. 8/10
THE BOX: Antique-laden tables cost £1,000 a night and champagne is the drink of choice. And host Robin O has been heard announcing: "Do all the cocaine you can. Answer every fetish. Drugs are good." 10/10

THE GUESTS
UTB: Abramovich has used Under The Bridge as a way of bringing his idols to his doorstep. The Russian, who is usually flanked by security guards, has been seen drinking bottles of beer, chatting to Sophie Dahl and rubbing shoulders with Pink Floyd. DC Lee, Paul Weller's ex-wife, and model Samantha Fox are also regulars. Meanwhile, Abramovich is holding a series of private parties as a way to woo business associates. Later this year he will shut the club to hold a joint 18th and 21st birthday party for the daughters of sports branding guru John Francis, introducing a new set of well-heeled young things to his nightclub. There are no gigs on match days and footballers are not welcome. 7/10
THE BOX: The guest list for the Box reads like a red carpet parade - Jude Law, Sienna Miller, Emma Watson, Kate Moss, Jamie Hince, Keira Knightley and, of course, Prince Harry. 10/10

VERDICT
What Under The Bridge lacks in vice, it makes up for in secrecy. While The Box's initial flurry of debauchery drew celebrities in their droves, Abramovich's slow-burn Under The Bridge is gathering momentum - without unwanted publicity. It's said that Abramovich's great ambition is to have the Rolling Stones play their 50th anniversary gig there next year. What he wants, he usually gets.
Additional reporting by Emma Reynolds.