Tall tales: Sex and domesticity

As my burlesque lesson drew closer I became increasingly terrified. First, my dance instructor was called Agent Lynch. Secondly, my prior knowledge of burlesque was limited, so I imagined I would be spending Tuesday afternoon trying desperately to be sexy, and having to drop my knickers in front of a stranger. I arrived at her Stoke Newington flat (where she has been shot for Elsa Quarsell’s upcoming photo exhibition of performers at home: The Domestic Burlesque) and knocked, expecting the worst. Happily, it opened to reveal a stunning 27-year-old Diana Rigg lookalike, clad in vintage neon tweed. ‘I’m Kate. Do you want a cup of tea?’

Over a warming brew Kate, aka Agent Lynch, explained that burlesque is an art form about performance and not titillation. ‘It’s not about taking your clothes off; a lot of dancers don’t even end up naked. We’re not in some seedy nightclub being exploited,’ she told me. ‘Burlesque is comedy, it’s all about the joke.’

Kate’s acts certainly sound more humorous than erotic – one involves playing ‘Edelweiss’ on handbells before ripping open her lederhosen and squirting milk out of nipple tassels, and another playing ‘Copacabana’ on a xylophone attached to her crotch. As the lesson started she tore off her suit to reveal racy leopard-print underwear. It became clear that Kate is a seriously sexy lady.

First, basic tricks of the trade, starting with glove and stocking removal and ending with pearl swinging and feather fluttering. At first it was mortifying. I almost put my hip out trying to pull off a stocking backwards and over my head. But an hour later I thought I had nailed the routine. That is, until I saw Kate perform it.

She was spectacular, shimmying around the living room and sashaying through the kitchen, never losing eye contact or her knowing grin. Although she has a cracking body, it was, as she had promised, her confidence, rather than state of undress, that made the performance so brilliant. In fact, watching her was almost like seeing a good stand-up comedian: such fun and so far from seedy that I’m taking a gaggle of girlfriends to her next show.

Lessons by request at agentlynch.com; Elsa Quarsell: The Domestic Burlesque opens at Jacksons Lane on 7 June (jacksonslane.org.uk)