But women are never told about this self-doubting, self-hating turmoil that goes on in a man's head. They're just harangued with that boring lecture about "Don't sleep with him, because he'll think you're a slag and won't respect you."
This only instantly raises every woman's feminist hackles and makes her vow to get spastically drunk and shag men within minutes of meeting them to prove she doesn't care, to prove how modern she is.
So, although not sleeping with a man on the first date might make you feel like a dishonest little minx, and a traitor to the feminist cause to boot, it's just smarter all round to hold back.
And when you come across that breed of man who mysteriously vanishes after a first date when there hasn't been any sex, the smug relief you'll feel because you didn't jump into bed with him will make all the boring aspects of abstinence seem completely justified.
Nirpal says
You go, girlfriend! That's the kind of spirit that makes me want to click my fingers and roll my head like one of those fat divas in the audience of the Ricki Lake show.
Several thousand years of feminist struggle will have been for nothing if women still can't enjoy their sexuality without worrying about other people's judgment - including that of the man you're sleeping with.
Any woman who's been telling you to do otherwise is a hypocrite who's almost certainly, at one time or another, given in to the moment and let rip with someone she barely knows.
Women have as much of an appetite for thoughtless sex as men but have been trained to feel guilty about it.
If a woman finds a man physically attractive but isn't interested in him enough to want a relationship with him, it makes perfect sense for her to get her satisfaction as quickly as possible, without stringing it out over weeks or months.
Sometimes you just need to get laid, and it's stupid to pretend you want anything more.
When a woman does want something longer term, nothing will be lost if she sleeps with him on the first date.
Indeed, if there is a real chemistry, neither of you could have any say in the matter and you'll be swept along by something bigger than the both of you.
As long as you're having sex because you want to, and not because you're feeling needy and are desperate for someone to like you, having sex on a first date can be a thrilling experience.
Giving yourself permission to just enjoy yourself without any expectations can be liberating, freeing you from the illusion that sex has to involve a lot of emotional baggage.
Women who take ownership of their sexuality and express it on their own terms are always more confident than those who treat sex as a commodity to barter in exchange for security.
In my experience, women who don't rely on men at all, emotionally or financially, are the ones who get into bed the quickest. And I've loved them for it.
Men find the games women play with sex both juvenile and irritating.
We respect and desire women who know what they want, not those who think they can string us along as if we're horny teenagers.
