Secret diary of a party addict

Once we arrive at The Connaught ballroom, and after some detective work, we figure out that we are at a party for HBO's TV series Mildred Pierce, starring Kate Winslet, Guy Pearce and Evan Rachel Wood. They haven't made it to the celebrations but I'm distracted from my disappointment when I spot a decorate-your-own-cupcake area, courtesy of The Vintage Patisserie. Our efforts quickly descend into edible glitter-spray madness and a 'design-off' between me and Patrick - I win, naturally. But we have worryingly brief attention spans, and make a quick exit laden with goody bags (come to think of it, where did those get to?). The sensible voice in my head saying 'Go home, Zara, it's a Tuesday night' doesn't win this one and we head upstairs to the bar...

Wednesday 16 November
Pretending I don't have a hangover, still 'LOL'ing from last night, and after a mild (major) panic attack over the 'Black Tie' dress code (in the end I throw on a black Versace for H&M dress that I'm meant to save for the launch tomorrow - oops), I make my way to the Drapers Fashion Awards at the Grosvenor House Hotel, hosted by Tess Daly. Hilary Alexander wins the Outstanding Contribution Award, and Harrods is named department store of the year. On the way out I run into Lydia Bright from TOWIE, one of my favourite television shows. She's wearing an embellished 1960s-style mint-green shift dress from Lucy In Disguise. I'm well jel.

My next stop is the Mr Porter party at The Box. I DJed the website's Fashion Week party at Soho House New York in September, and it was all kinds of fun, so my expectations are high. No pressure. This time the party is to celebrate the debut of Alabama's finest designer, Billy Reid, on the site. Tyrone, Patrick (yes, them again) and Marcus Mumford (of Mumford & Sons) are all in the house to watch Mr Reid introduce his favourite band, The Apache Relay. I'm confident that everyone watching will now be a big fan of theirs. In other news I can't help noticing that polo/roll/turtle-necks seem to be allowed on men again - I count six and a half (although rare, 'half necks' apparently do exist) in the crowd. But hey, if Gary Barlow's OK with them, so am I. Strong look, gentlemen.

Thursday 17 November
Up at 6am to get ready for an early DJ set. Under any other circumstances I might not be very happy - I might even grumble at the prospect. But not today; not even a little snarl. To be honest, I'm radiating nothing but excitement, as I'm
about to meet an icon and possibly the most important woman in fashion: Donatella Versace. Versace is one of my all-time favourite brands, so when I was asked to DJ the Versace for H&M launch and to pick out my favourite pieces from the collection (which I did last week, some tough decisions were made), well, it was a no-brainer.

I fight my way through the crowds and cameras outside H&M on Regent Street, slightly worried about being mugged for the clothes off my back, to be introduced to the woman herself, who tells me that I look 'gorgeous' in her Stampa dress and suede lace-up booties. What? Did I just hear that correctly? Worried that I may have imagined it all (it happens), I get straight to work and am asked to play some Lady Gaga. Cue 'Poker Face', 'Born This Way' and all her greatest hits.

It's shaping up to be quite the day - at one point I have the entire shop singing along to 'Everybody' by Backstreet Boys (I realise that I probably shouldn't admit to still liking Backstreet Boys, and/or knowing the lyrics to their back catalogue). However, even in a megastore full of happy customers, there's always one. One who, in this case, tells me off for the music being 'disturbingly loud'. Which I can't help thinking begs the question - if loud isn't your thing, why are you at a Versace party?

I spend the afternoon in a frenzy of tweeting and showing the picture of me with Donatella to anyone who feigns the slightest interest. After dark I pop into the Double RL by Ralph Lauren shop opening on Mount Street with my friend, the super-agent Jonathan Sanders. I realise that I might sound like a cross-dresser (not that there's anything wrong with that) saying this but I love men's clothing and can confirm that this vintage Americana-inspired sportswear line is incredible, as is the new shop, named after Ralph and Ricky's ranch in Colorado. There's a live jazz band, alcoholic cocktails that look like milkshakes and many, many handsomes (mostly dressed up like Warren Beatty in Bonnie and Clyde), but fatigue has well and truly kicked in and I've started using words like 'handsomes'. To be fair, I perk up considerably at the prospect of a quick bite to eat at Cut at 45 Park Lane. A 'quick' bite being a full-on pasta situation. Yum. #FeedMe.

Friday 18 November
I wake up to a beauty crisis: dark circles and no concealer. But it's Friday so no time to pause; it's time to RE:Joice at The Hoxton Pony, the East London hangout that boasts its own brand of gin. The weekly party is organised by DJ/writer Ronnie Joice, who knows everyone (I'm not kidding - there's even a 'I know Ronnie Joice' Facebook group), is reliably entertaining and gets together an always-great line-up. It's not unusual to see The Libertines, Pam Hogg or even Mark Ronson on the decks - and tonight it's me! The last time I was here, Kelis danced to my set. If that's anything to go by, tonight will be a late one

Saturday 19 November
Waning. Majorly waning. It's 13:00 and I'm already head-to-toe in All Saints at Love Brunch's second anniversary party at Sanderson. There's Sienna Miller, Matthew Williamson, lots of heart-shaped balloons, Belvedere Bloody Marys and bleary-eyed guests. I'm hanging out with my favourite partner in crime, Henry Conway, and making it my mission to try everything on the Malaysian food menu: noodles, satays, spring rolls, you name it. I think I may have succeeded. Twice. I leave as it's about to get messy.

Sunday 20 November
Dressing up on a Sunday feels weird. This
evening I am forgoing Lana Del Rey at Shoreditch House to attend the Evening Standard Theatre Awards at The Savoy wearing a floor-length
D&G number (above) that's so old I'm chuffed
I can still fit into it - can I call it 'vintage' yet, I wonder? The evening is all about serious acting and talent, of course, but you could be forgiven for thinking it's an experiment to see how many beautiful people it's possible to squeeze into one room: Gemma Arterton. Check. Kristin Scott Thomas. Check. Karen Gillan. Check. Jonny Lee Miller. Check, check, check. I could go on. The awards are in association with Vogue and the fashion contingent is well represented as well: Alexandra Shulman, Sarah Burton, Erdem, Erin O'Connor and Mary Portas are all here.

I make a final dash across town to a friends and family screening of episode four of the brilliant E4 show Misfits, in Shoreditch. The stand-alone episode is directed by my talented buddy Wayne Yip and his co-director Alex Garcia. Blown away by how great it is, I'm excited that they are going to be directing me in a short film for the shoe label Mechante of London, filming early next year. Although, if this was anything to go by, I'm also a bit scared (there were liberal amounts of blood) - but in a good way.