Review: Chanel All-Over Body Spray

My first scent was Blue Grass by Elizabeth Arden, which I never liked much, but my mother said it was ladylike.

Then I went through an inappropriately heady, Coco Chanel phase at about 15 (saved up and grabbed it at duty free) before settling on Beautiful by Estée Lauder at 18 which saw me through university. I was given Diptyque’s woody, green, figgy Philosykos at 22 and have worn it even since, deviating now and again to flirt with Jo Malone’s Pomegranate Noir (peppery and challenging for when I need to feel powerful), Miller Harris’s Citron Citron (wonderfully zingy but fades to a sparkling floral) and Kiehl’s Original Musk for something meltingly mmmmm.

Of course, the one I’ve always wanted to wear is Chanel No5. But I have never felt worthy. Never woman enough. Never soignée enough to conquer it: to wear it rather than letting it wear me. If Chanel No5 separates the women from the girls, the wheat from the chaff, the sheep from the goats, then I suppose I have always felt too girlish/chaffy/goaty. I can’t quite pull it off. Just as

I can’t be blonde, can’t wear silk, can’t carry off pearls.

And so my entry (or entrée, if you like) is the No5 body range. It offers a hint of this virtuoso scent. Enough to make you feel irresistible. The most recent addition is the All-Over Body Spray, and I’m all over it. It is absolute perfection: powdery, light, subtle, classy, delicate, patrician, flirty but clean, clean, clean. Post-gym, pre-date, or to grab some milk on a Sunday morning. Locked and loaded.

Chanel All-Over Body Spray, £49 (chanel.com)