ESPACE HENRI CHENOT AT PALACE MERANO, ITALY
WHAT
If you're wondering how those Continental lovelies stay so trim and youthful, look no further than Monsieur Henri Chenot. The 68-year-old Frenchman, an expert in Chinese medicine, has been improving the appearance of gorgeous Gauls and Italian ingénues (not to mention Princess Caroline of Monaco) for more than 40 years with a cunning system he likes to call Biontology. In quasi-layman terms that's an 'overall view of the man-machine, to work on the equilibrium between
mind, unconscious and physical body'. Basically, he believes that the free flow of energy around the body is key, and that
if you want to look and feel great, you need to address every aspect of your life and wellbeing, not just the physical.
WHERE
There are five Espace Henri Chenot locations around the world and of the two Italian options, the Palace Merano, where the great man himself is based, is the luxurious choice, a lemon-yellow belle epoque confection nestling in a botanical garden in the foothills of the Dolomites.
THE TREATMENT
Don't be fooled by the sumptuous surroundings, you're not here to relax. Chenot's seven-day process is designed to clean you up thoroughly, inside and out (weight loss is not the goal but is a well-deserved, if hard-earned, side-effect). Guests' time is divided between the medical wing, beginning with a comprehensive 'biological check-up', including urine, thyroid, cardiovascular and hepatorenal analysis, followed by such terrifying-sounding processes as toxemia level assessment, body composition assessment and the alarmingly named Trimprob test (though happily, this 'has no traumatic consequences'). The slightly less scary beauty centre has hot cupping facials, detoxifying baths, scalp treatments and tendon-muscle massages. In addition, you'll have a food intolerance assessment and receive dietary advice. But don't worry, it's not all gloom and doom - as unlikely as it sounds, the food (devised by Mme Chenot) is excellent.
COST
Seven-night, six-day comprehensive programme, including accommodation,
all treatments, compulsory medical and meals, from £3,665pp (palace.it)
VIVA MAYR CLINIC, AUSTRIA
WHAT
Devised by super-strict Austrian physician Dr Franz Xaver Mayr in the 1950s, Mayr medicine is based on his belief that most health problems have their cause in poor digestive function, and that if you sort out your gut (via fasting, hydrotherapy and colonics), everything else will start to behave itself. After completing the process - certainly not during - patients look and feel great and it also claims to cure a number of illnesses and chronic health problems. You can try Mayr's cure at the Original FX Mayr centre, while at Viva, just next door, the system has been marginally modified by medical director Dr Harald Stossier into what's known as Modern Mayr Medicine (a slightly less merciless approach). Here you'll find captains of industry fasting alongside movie starlets and overwrought politicians high on colonics - not because it's the soft option (it's not) but because they want results, and Mayr really gets results.
WHERE
The five-star Viva hotel sits on the south side of Lake Worth in southern Austria, in the peaceful village of Maria-Worth. The hotel isn't what you'd call pretty but rooms are comfortable, many have wonderful views, and there's plenty of space indoors and out to crawl off and hide when your detox really starts to bite. There's a pool, a gym and good food (if you're allowed any), as well as a beauty salon offering everything from facials to cellulite treatments - you are here to get results, after all.
THE TREATMENT
The full cure takes 3-4 weeks but you can sign up for as little as you like. With Modern Mayr Medicine, you're still faced with colonics and the Doctor's famous stale bread rolls (a major part of the Mayr process is focussed on the importance of chewing every mouthful 50 times in order to begin the digestive process in the mouth and the almost indigestible bread rolls provide a sort of beginners' course in how to chew properly) but there are so many treatments that it's impossible to guess what rigours you'll be subjected to. Everyone's visit starts with a thorough medical, which might lead to anything from shiatsu to nasal reflex therapy, detoxifying electrolysis baths, salt air inhalations and medical light therapy. What you can be sure of is that you'll be having colonics, abdominal massages and exercise. You'll also have a final medical before leaving and be given a plan to follow once you're home.
COST
From £145pp per night, including food; prescribed treatments are charged individually (0043 42 733 1117; viva-mayr.com)
