My London: Dawn French

The comedian collects kisses from famous men and loves a gay night out

Dawn French's My London

2 November 2012

Home is…

Cornwall, on the south coast where the climate is more temperate.

Where do you stay in London?

In Marylebone. I love the smell of it and the traffic because it’s very different to Cornwall. I stay on a square that is very leafy and there are fantastic, exotic Lebanese grocery shops around the corner, which sell the plumpest, shiniest fruit.

Favourite shops?

I like Space NK for its Laughter perfume. Liberty is great for everything. I go to the Langham hotel for tea, Evans for big pants and Dinny Hall on Westbourne Grove for fab jewellery.

Best meal?

Oooh, a hard one. Sorry to be la-di-da, but it’s The Club at The Ivy. I told them all the stuff that I like, and they put it all on one plate for me.

Most romantic thing someone’s done for you?

Someone took me on a privately chartered boat on my birthday. As far as The O2 and back to Chelsea Wharf at twilight, with a champagne supper. I loved that.

Best place for a first date?

It would have to be Regent’s Park because there are so many little hidden places and the foliage is dense enough in places that you can have clandestine sex in the bushes. Apparently.

Last play you saw?

Chariots of Fire. I enjoyed the boys in shorts, and remembering that the story is a profound one about racism and prejudice. But mainly the boys in shorts.

First thing you do when you come to London?

I get a cappuccino at an expensive coffee shop. We don’t have frothy milk in Cornwall.

Favourite pub?

The Duke of Wellington on the corner of Crawford Street and Wyndham Place, near Bryanston Square in Marylebone. It does delicious grub.

Best thing a cabbie has said to you?

‘Go on, gal, have this one on me.’

Earliest London memory?

Aged four, holding a monkey with my brother for a photo outside Madame Tussauds.

What would you do as Mayor for a day?

Make public transport free and instruct all cabbies to wait until women are in the front door before they drive off at night.

Building you’d most like to live in?

The converted chapel behind the famous blue door in Notting Hill. It’s where Richard Curtis and Emma Freud used to live and I desired it badly.

Favourite discoveries?

Tate Britain, Tate Modern and the ‘wobbly bridge’ outside. And all the Masonic signs on pavements and building tops.

What do you collect?

Antique hat pins, Clarice Cliff ceramics and kisses from handsome famous men.

Best piece of advice?

‘Shut up.’ I was told that by my brother.

Who do you call to have fun?

My friend Liza Tarbuck, my cousins, my nephew, Kathy Burke — and of course, Jennifer ‘Sassy’ Saunders.

Which building would you be locked in overnight?

Harrods Food Hall for free access to the finest hams.

Best place to let your hair down?

Madam JoJo’s and the Vauxhall Tavern are always great. Wherever gay boys are, that’s where I want to be.

Biggest extravagances?

Theatre outings are my favourite thing to spend money on. The most influential play I saw was Bent, which starred Ian McKellen. And I loved the original performance of The Rocky Horror Show with Richard O’Brien and Tim Curry at the Royal Court, when I was about 15.

Ever had a run-in with a policeman?

I did once remind a policeman that it was my ancient right to pee in his helmet if I was pregnant and needed to. Sadly I wasn’t pregnant but I did need to.