My London: Big Narstie

Home is…

Brixton, born and bred.

Bus, Tube or taxi?

Taxi. And a smoking vehicle at that. A smoking taxi.

Best meal you’ve had?

New Tings, Acre lane, Brixton. Caribbean. Chicken soup, then I’ll bang the sweet chilli chicken bites with white rice, mac and cheese. And coleslaw.

Favourite shops?

HQ Barbers in Brixton. And Cliff’s [barbers] on Acre Lane. The man is tight, he’ll never let you off nothing, but he’s still mandem.

Where would you recommend for a first date?

Just a walk around central London. Where? Anywhere, man. South Bank. Just walk, talk and get to know each other.

What would you do if you were Mayor for the day?

Weed would be legalised. Everywhere: not just in London.

Who do you call when you want to have fun?

Ghooostbusters! Ha, haaaaaa! Sorry, you set that one up for me. Who do I call when I want to have fun? Well mate, sorry to say, but I don’t get to have fun, because my employers, they treat me like a prostitute. So when I got the time I’m just asking for help… I’ve been trying to escape for months.

Favourite pub?

The Duke Of Edinburgh, Ferndale Road. Good vibes. And it’s my local.

If you could buy any building, which would it be?

Brixton Town Hall. Then turn it into Judgement Yard.

Where do you work out?

Muscle Base Gym in Enfield. Mixed marital arts. Muay Thai. Ju-jitsu. And appreciating women doing deadlifts.

Best thing a cabbie has ever said to you?

‘Don’t vomit in my cab, you fat bastard.’

Who is the most iconic Londoner?

Could be me, to be honest. Could be me. Yeah. Either me or Boris Johnson [laughs out loud for a long time].

Ever had a run-in with a London police officer?

Ah mate, I’ve had a lot… One time me and my mates were drunk and decided to race each other down Leicester Square. The police came over and thought we were fighting and that, but we were all out of our nuts, so we told the police to be judges and watch our races. So they blocked off pedestrians while we raced.

What’s your biggest extravagance?

I’d say jewellery. I’ve got a couple of nice pieces. Family cuts: from princes, kings and queens.

What makes someone a Londoner?

A Londoner is a multicultural person. London is the only place in England where there is so much diversity. London is a dialect of many cultures: Asian culture, Jamaican culture, Russian culture, Albanian culture, all rolled into one. You know the NutriBullet blenders? London’s like a NutriBullet of cultures.

What are you up to at the moment?

My book. It’s basically just a motivational book, and a short autobiography, really. It’s very enlightening, it’s insightful. And most importantly it’s a hundred per cent real G s***.