Well, first of all, don't panic. That's probably just hangover paranoia talking. You've spent years diligently building up a catalogue of late-night larks and high jinks; I doubt that one poor review will be enough to destroy that. Also, Evans announced in the same breath that he's decided to quit drinking for a while after your 'quiet night out', so maybe it was a little more hardcore than he's letting on. With that in mind, there's only one thing for it: get the lawyers involved. A stern legal letter - 'our client strongly disputes your statement... distress caused... breach of human rights... demands a full and immediate retraction... blah blah' - should work wonders. Send the letter to him, then 'leak' it to ensure that your adoring public knows you're taking the issue seriously. When Evans apologises, you can invite him out for a friendly drink to celebrate; naturally he'll succumb to your charms and the next day you'll be the naughty prince who knocked him off the wagon and hell-raiser Harry will be headline news once more. Cheers.
