James Bond's My London

Where do you live?
In a garden square in Chelsea. If I told you any more, I’d have to kill you. I’m joking. It’s a brisk walk to my office, MI6 HQ in Vauxhall, and the Royal Parks and the Serpentine are nearby if I fancy a run or a swim. I don’t like exercising in enclosed spaces.

Earliest London memory?
My father was Scottish, my mother Swiss, and I spent a lot of my childhood abroad or at Eton, where I was expelled for ‘girl trouble’, and then at Fettes in Edinburgh. So it was probably being taken for tea at Claridge’s by an aunt. I was very taken with the waitress.

What would you do as Mayor for the day?
Ban all husbands of women aged 25 to 35 from within the M25 and institute special ZiL lanes (as in Russia) to enable those on government business to get across town faster.

Best meal?
I’ve been going to Scott’s for years and am very fond of the dressed crab and the grouse. The problem with caviar is you never get enough toast.

First thing you do when you get home?
Draw my Walther P99 or SIG-Sauer P226, check the doors and windows and that none of my secure places have been compromised. Then have a drink. If I’m not alone, I keep the security check more circumspect.

Favourite shops?
Do I look like the sort of person who would bang on about where he gets his shirts made or has his cigarettes hand-rolled? Well, all right then. Turnbull & Asser, if you insist. Church’s and John Lobb for shoes and I wear the No 89 Cologne from Floris of Jermyn Street. I hate shopping, so I like to get it all done in one afternoon in St James’s. My swimming trunks are by La Perla. Brioni cuts great suits for broader shoulders, as does Tom Ford, but I also value brands that stand up to punishment, such as Levi’s and Barbour. I’ve had numerous watches over the years that Q has adapted for me.

What do you collect?
Scalps. Not literally.

Most romantic thing someone’s done for you?
Vesper (Lynd, Casino Royale) died for me.

Best place for a first date?
Somewhere her husband is unlikely to walk in.

Building you’d like to live in?
Apsley House, the Duke of Wellington’s former home, on Hyde Park Corner. It’s got good defensive sightlines on all sides.

Best advice you’ve been given?
Q once said, ‘Never let them see you bleed.’ ‘The World is Not Enough’ is the Bond family motto.

Who’s your hero?
The Queen. Truly fearless.

Which animal would you like to be?
Absurd question. But I’d probably say a cheetah. Fast, adaptable, lethal.

Biggest extravagance?
Aston Martin motors. I’ve usually got two on the go — an adapted DB5 and the latest model.