How Polo went #Yolo

The first thing you realise at the polo is that no one actually goes to watch the strapping Argentinians playing with their mallets. There are, of course, genuine fans; picnicking ‘civilians’ with their Kettle Chips and hummus. But the real action happens behind a white picket fence, in the VIP area, where you’ll find Alexa Chung talking to Poppy Delevingne, Tinie Tempah showing too much ankle and Will Young trying to teach the blazer-and-chino brigade about contemporary style.

‘Polo drifts gently in and out of fashion,’ says Kate Reardon, the horse-mad editor of society bible Tatler. ‘There’s danger, glamour, sex... and all within reaching distance of a mojito. It’s a potent combination.’ Indeed, not since Prince Charles was playing in the late 1980s — when Jilly Cooper’s in-the-saddle romps were selling millions, and the outrageous Australian billionaire Kerry Packer ran his own team (legend has it he once tipped a Windsor curry house £10,000 for staying open late to cater for them) — has polo been so #YOLO.

At the Audi International Polo tournament in Windsor late last month, a crowd of society hotties, pop stars and actors such as Douglas Booth and Gemma Arterton showed up for a glass or two of Ruinart and the chance to Instagram themselves at one of the social calendar’s highlights surrounded by unnaturally good-looking, snappily dressed, well-connected Londoners.

Then there was the wildly decadent after-party, where Eddie Redmayne bounded around like the sloshed best man at a wedding with his band of actor buddies who partied like no one was watching — only, of course, they knew everybody was.

The German automobile giant Audi has gone all out to own polo and its photogenic new scenesters. It sends hundreds of chauffeur-driven silver Q7s to pick up VIPs such as Thandie Newton and The King’s Speech director Tom Hooper from their homes in town and ferry them into the countryside to what have essentially become very star-spangled garden parties. The sport?

Well, it’s just part of the scenery. These days the only people taking the game seriously are either on the field, in a horsebox, or the poor souls tasked with manning the scoreboard.

At the Audi International, lunch was still being served and the merry crowd flitting restlessly between tables when it was announced that the first chukka had begun. No one cared particularly to see if captain Luke Tomlinson was on form for England, or to marvel at star Argentinian players Adolfo Cambiaso and Facundo Pieres (the world’s top two players, both with a ten-goal handicap) — even if, as Jilly Cooper put it when I spoke to her on the phone, ‘The Argentinians are such naughty boys. And that name, Facundo... it’s “f***” and “fecund”.’ Though it must be said, both players are happily married.

The crowd’s general ambivalence towards the game suited me just fine. I’d never been to the polo before and had no idea about rules or etiquette. Truth be told, the last time I had anything to do with a horse was during an ill-fated sixth form adventure holiday when I and a bus-load of other inner-city state school kids were taken away to experience ‘the countryside’. During a riding class my friend Eve screamed so much that her horse reared and galloped madly across a field, while mine desperately bolted after it. Since then I've kept well away from what polo types call ‘ponies’.

Were it not for the booming commentary, it would have been easy to forget why we were all gathered in a very big field on a summer’s afternoon. The actor Dominic Cooper, resplendent in a palm-print shirt, skipped around with a Leica camera, getting his pals to pose. Definitely not a polo fan, I decided, as he rolled on the grass with fellow thesp-about-town Luke Treadaway, while the Evening Standard’s photographer Dave Benett put down his cigar to snap them. I squeezed between Strictly Come Dancing’s Brendan Cole and his model wife Zoe, who gallantly tried to explain to me how the match was going, and why the teams kept changing direction, before adding: ‘Basically, it’s just a beautiful background to a lovely day’s drinking.’

The top events of the summer are the Audi Polo Challenge at Coworth Park (Audi’s own team usually includes Princes William and Harry), which arguably draws the starriest crowd — this year Tom Hardy, Helen Mirren, Clive Owen, Anna Friel and Lily Cole were among the revellers; then the Veuve Clicquot Gold Cup at Cowdray, which attracts the fashion pack — Tinie Tempah, David Gandy, Alexa Chung, Daisy Lowe; and finally the England v Argentina Audi International showdown at the Guards Club in Windsor, which showcases some of the best polo in the world — if only anyone were watching.