Brace yourself for a knockout smile

I thought I was just going for my annual clean and polish when I visited my dentist recently.

But he said "oh dear" before the chair had even reclined fully. My front right incisor had stepped out of line and the errant tooth would only get worse, he said. Which is how, at 29, I have joined the numbers of not-quite-so-young Londoners turning to corrective dentistry in their quest for the perfect smile.

I agreed to try out a new contraption, the Inman Aligner, which promised to push my tooth back in six weeks. The blessing was that the procedure was something my dentist could do himself; I didn't have to go to an orthodontist. And I wasn't even his oldest patient. Dental assistant Toni Stewart was reassuring when he said the Invisalign system of clear removable aligners is popular with older patients because it's "nice and discreet", unlike fixed metal braces.

My dentist took a mould of my top teeth there and then and the following week I was in possession of my personalised brace, in a bright yellow box. However, when I opened the box, I was horrified to find the aligner looked like an old-fashioned American Pie-style retainer, the sort that impedes speech, looks and pulling power. It has a clear plastic front but its bulk prompts me into a perpetual pout, which at 29 is more of a pucker.

But I trust my dentist implicitly, so I agreed to wear the brace for 20 hours a day, with four hours off for eating. I was to walk, talk and dream with it. My six-week sentence didn't sound that long to start with but suddenly my diary was full of festivals, Ibiza, christenings and weddings — most of which require a clutch as accessory, not mouth furniture.

It was tough wearing the brace when I was flirting with Vogue International, where everyone is super-cool and fashionable. As if being the sole representative of Topshop wasn't enough without the added speech impediment. "What's wrong with your face?" Hayley from Vogue Turkey asked as I tried to get my tongue around the name of a stylist, Fabio Immediato; it kept dissolving to Fanny-ho Immemiamo until Hayley kindly suggested I unshackle myself. What relief! But thereafter I got a bit lax and took to whisking it out and stashing it in a cup.

So it was inevitable that one Friday night I left the contraption squished in my work diary spine. Fearing how much my teeth would move in a whole weekend without it, I crept back into the building. I swiped in through the front door safely and went up in the lift but hadn't accounted for the burglar alarm on the fifth floor. Oh God. The warning beep soon gave way to a full-on whoop as I darted around like a frightened deer. Fortunately a security man had spotted me on the CCTV and came to my rescue.

"What were you after?" he asked and when I sheepishly revealed the brace in my palm, like a Harry Potter snitch, he looked bemused. I scampered off, heart still thumping.

Six weeks later my tooth is back in line and I'm only wearing the brace at night. The cost? £600 and a few blushes.

WHERE TO GET YOUR TEETH STRAIGHTENED
Inman Aligner, Jonathan Tan
Fast, affordable teeth straightening in 4-16 weeks. From £800. 6 Lincoln St, SW3 (020 7225 0735, jonathan tan.co.uk)

Invisalign, Harley Street Dental Studio
Subtle, slower approach with clear plastic retainers. From £1,795,
42 Harley St, W1 (020 7636 5981, harleystreetdentalstudio.com)

Cosmetic Teeth Makeover, Lund Osler
Hub of acclaimed orthodontistry and cosmetic dentistry with Dr Surinder Hundle of 10 Years Younger fame providing veneers, crowns and fillings. From £3,000 for orthodontistry, or £900-£2,000 per veneer.
56 Knightsbridge, SW1 (020 7838 8969, lundosler.com)

Braces, Elleven Orthodontics
Supplies orthodontic braces and invisibraces with state of the art tools in a stylish environment. From £2,900-£7,000, 11 Devonshire Place, W1 (020 7487 2711, ellevenorthodontics.com)