Grace and Flavour

Daftly, until my recent Valentine's retreat at The Connaught hotel, Mayfair, I'd never set as much as a toe in there. Why would I?
I love Claridge's for cocktails, Dean Street Townhouse for champagne teas and since the Hawksmoor Guildhall's genius notion of 'Pre-Prandial' and 'Bridging Drink' menus I'm never stuck for a venue for common and garden 'sin'. Yet The Connaught is truly special, opulent, old school, with staff trained to cosset and enable any needs, and I've been a fool to leave it snubbed.

My 24-hour stay in the Sutherland Suite, assisted by butler Ricardo, is my future boilerplate for 'having a right old decadent time' in London town. From the moment of arrival, Ricardo was politely determined to run me a bath, ply me with chocolate almonds, set up spa appointments and convince me to let chef send up warm scones. Within 90 minutes of checking in, I was in leopard-print pyjamas with a plate of petits fours, watching movies, having completely forgotten the Valentine's agenda. 'Erm, is your husband joining you for dinner, Mrs Dent?' asked Ricardo as I drank champagne mumbling, 'Mmm, Ricardo, yes, I do like Turkish Delight' like the Queen of Sheba's indolent sister. Yet despite the great philosopher Whitney Houston's theory 'learning to love yourself is the greatest love of all', I did let my other half invade the suite, use the in-bathroom TV and order dinner, which Ricardo served on our full-size dining table. Excellent tender carpaccio, crab cakes with a celeriac salad, Aberdeen Angus steak frites with red wine sauce, baby chicken, spliced with wilted spinach.

The New York-style cheesecake is a destination pudding all of its own: lime foam, white chocolate, lime cream, rocket, candied fennel, celery; a mouthquake of tastes, tex-tures and temperatures. Eating three courses in pyjamas is, in my opinion, the way forward. Be gone cutting waistbands, tight pants and that yearning post-pudding to whip off one's bra and lie flat on a sofa (generally frowned upon at The Wolseley). In The Connaught suites, you can eat a romantic dinner however you please and it's magical. One can settle for 'three of you in this relationship' when the spare wheel is a man called Ricardo with a never-ending supply of hand-made truffles.