Giles Coren's My London

Home is …

A Victorian end of terrace in Kentish Town. I’ve been here 17 years. Before that, Archway for a bit. Before that, Paris for a bit, and before that 21 years in Cricklewood. My friend Alan says, “North London: born, live, die.” And he’s right. I’m so ashamed of that Paris interlude.

Where do you live?

Kentish Town. I’m six minutes from the Heath, and you can walk over to Hampstead in 20 minutes for tea. But if you lived in Hampstead, you’d never walk over to Kentish – so what would you do? I also have an office in Archway, which looks all set to gentrify in about 300 years.

What was the last play you saw?

Twelfth Night at the Apollo. Yes, Mark Rylance was Olivia. Yes, Stephen Fry was Malvolio. But most importantly my neighbour from four doors down, Roger Lloyd Pack, was Sir Andrew Aigucheek. We gave him a lift home.

Where would you recommend for a first date?

Anywhere except the Zoo. Whenever I take my two-year-old daughter Kitty there you can’t move for spotty teenagers snogging. London is such an amazing place for young people now. When I was a kid you had to take girls to Maxwell’s or some dismal pub. If pressed, I’d say Ceviche, Spuntino, Ten Greek Street, or any other no-bookings foodie bar in Soho.

First thing you do when you arrive back in London?

Check for evidence of a break-in.

Favourite shops?

The Cad & The Dandy off Threadneedle St in the City. I have a big neck and short arms, and can’t really rock an off-the-peg shirt anymore, so these chaps make mine. They also make my suits but I get scant opportunity to wear them as I work mainly in my underpants and a beanie hat (when I’m writing, obviously, as opposed to doing telly.) La Fromagerie. I used to use the Highbury original, but the owner Patricia Michelson hangs out at the Moxon St branch so I go there because I love her. Panzer in St John’s Wood. The best bagels in London. The best smoked salmon in the world. My dad got his lox there, both sets of grandparents got theirs there. No Jew should live more than two miles from Panzer. Euro Sports in Swiss Cottage. London’s only proper sports shop. An Indian family run business as old as the continent itself. They know everything. I play Eton Fives, a very rare and preposterous sport, and they sell three types of glove for it. The Owl Bookshop in KT. It’s now owned by Daunt but is still a paragon of a local bookshop. I used to buy books there at least once a week and even went out with one of the sales assistants for three years. Now I take my daughter there to shred Pip and Posy books then run…

Best meal you’ve had?

My wife made a chicken pie last night to welcome me back from filming a food show in Canada. It was historic. Better than anything in any restaurant in the world. I married her for her body, then she taught herself to make pies. Slam. Dunk.

Earliest London memory?

Power cuts. In the early 70s they were the rule rather than the exception. I remember my Grampa Sam in a camel overcoat, carrying a candle in a holder up the stairs at his mansion block in St John’s Wood, North London. I guess I was 2.

Building you'd like to live in?

Kenwood House. It’s a staggering neo-Classical Georgian house by Robert Adam with an aspect over the prettiest part of Hampstead Heath. I’d need all the surrounding land of course, to graze sheep and stuff. And the lake to fish in. And all the wonderful art they have in there. And an accompanying title like “Earl of The North Circular”. I’d open it to the general public for one hour a week to avoid death duties, like a proper toff.

What would you do if you were Mayor of London for the day?

I would get the Shard taken down. It is a sick piece of capitalist arrogance, a grotesque totem pole to Saudi oil money, a poisonous alien, and spoils the view of St Paul’s from just about everywhere, but especially from my office.

Favourite pub?

The Bull and Last, my local. It’s two minutes’ walk away and by coincidence serves the best food of any pub in London.