Food Miles: Alain Ducasse at The Dorchester

A friend of mine took someone for lunch at Alain Ducasse at Hotel Plaza Athénée in Paris, which was so fancy that the menu was priceless (it had no prices on it). When the bill arrived it was for the equivalent of a life-shattering £1,300. So it's good to know that here, despite being at The Dorchester, they offer a £50 Lunch Hour menu.

When we arrived at this modern, minimalist dining room, which is painted a mushroom beige, my friend Maggie - who is, shall we say, effervescent - and I were seated next to a rather snooty pair of young men. Whenever Maggie spoke slightly loudly, or in another accent, the more sinewy of the pair would turn and glare at us with all the officiousness of an elderly steward at Lord's.

The staff - some French, some South African and one (rather more exotically) genuine Cockney - are attentive, upbeat and do the fine dining thing of explaining what you are about to eat in protracted detail. At one point we didn't break off from our chat and the waiter lingered before giving a Jeeves-style cough and then breaking into his description.

But what of the food? The Lunch Hour menu is not extensive, but it is extremely well crafted. I started with Hereford snails with French country bacon, while Maggie had 'three textures' of broad beans. I then chose a stuffed chicken breast with gratinated macaroni and Maggie had seared pollock with citrus reduction. And then there was a chocolate fondant with raspberry sorbet and a chequered and three-tiered strawberry and verbena pudding with tempered white chocolate. For your £50, you also have two glasses of wine. The Bourgogne was splendid and the Sauvignon de Saint-Bris so good we called for more.

With every mouthful, Maggie let out a sort of wild noise that if you had heard it coming from someone's hotel room would have made you giggle and then increase your pace. All I wanted to do after each taste was to tilt my head back, hammer my chest with my fists and shout swear words.

Alain Ducasse really doesn't need my recommendation any more than Bono would seek the endorsement of His Holiness. But, for what it's worth, this food was bloody amazing.