Five ways to survive teenagers

Many parents must now face six weeks of bored teenage offspring on summer holiday. Charlie Taylor offers his rules to live by...

Let them sleep
Having teenagers putting in monumental hours of sleeping can infuriate parents. The house becomes populated with ghosts who appear to raid the fridge or have baths in mid-afternoon, only to disappear dozily back to bed. It can be particularly frustrating when you get back from a hard day's work to find your teenager settling down to breakfast.

My advice is to let them sleep. This doesn't mean that they should be allowed to spend the entire holiday in bed but at the end of a hard term they need some catching-up time. Recent research shows that the teenage brain is going through all sorts of wiring-up and growth and sleep is an important part of this process, giving a chance to recuperate during this neurological growth spurt.

Keep them busy
Once they have had a bit of recuperation, sign them up for as many activities as possible. Ideally send them away to a camp for a few days where they don't have a second to sit around and mope. Teenagers suffer from the terrible affliction FOMO — the fear of missing out, a constant state of paranoia that their friends are somewhere else having more fun than they are. If you can get a couple of friends to go to a camp or activities holiday then the FOMO horror is reduced. Once out in the great outdoors abseiling down cliffs they will have a great time, even if they won't admit it.

Give them chores to do
As teenagers demand more freedom so should they be prepared to take on more responsibility. Give them one or two household chores that must be completed every day. If they are reluctant, then link the daily completion of chores to pocket money or being allowed out in the evening.

Offer them work
Teenagers never have enough money and getting them to work for more is a way of teaching them about one of the realities of life. Save up some admin, decorating or gardening jobs and pay your teenager to do them.

Encourage them to have friends over
Out of sight out of mind is often the easy option for parents. But when your child's friends come to your house it gives you a chance to get to know them and get a better sense of what they are up to. Don't be put off by appearance — the one who looks as if she has just covered herself in glue and ramraided Oxfam may turn out to be the most charming and responsible of the lot. Make your teenager's friends feel welcome and give them space and peace.

Other issues could be around staying out late, having girl/boy friends to stay, giving advice about sex or drugs, unsuitable friends, untidiness around the house etc.

Charlie Taylor is the head teacher of a school for children with behavioural, emotional and social difficulties in west London. Divas and Door Slammers is published by Vermilion, out now.