Don't shoot the poor parakeets

The monk parakeet is, on paper, the perfect urban creature. It lives in huge apartment block-style nests, with separate entrances for residents; it is known for its incessant chatter and ability to pick up new lingo and accents quickly; it likes a wide variety of foods, from sprouts and nuts to tasty chicken, rice and peas; it has bright plumage, and is gregarious, cuddly and family-minded - often older offspring hang about to help their parents bring up the younger members of the family.

Charming, you might think. But Defra (the Department for Environment, Food & Rural Affairs) disagrees, and is in the process of 'trapping and rehousing' the UK's small (150 to 200 birds) but happy population of monks, which is based largely in Borehamwood and London's leafier suburbs.

For these little green beasts apparently have the 'potential to threaten the national infrastructure'! 'Non-native invasive species deprive the British economy of £1.7 billion each year,' the scaremongers tell us. And if they don't manage to gather the birds (how easy is it to catch a parakeet?), there is talk of exterminating them. The monks have not yet caused any damage, but in America they have been known to plunder crops and cause electricity blackouts when their huge nests (which can reach the size of a car) are built on electricity cables. So these Minority Report-style measures are to curb the potential for an apocalyptic 'the birds have taken over' scenario.

It's certainly true that if the monks follow in the clawsteps of their larger ring-neck parakeet cousins there will soon be a lot more of them about. There are now 50,000 ring-necks flocking the parks of Brixton, Peckham, Greenwich and Kingston (3,000 live at Esher's rugby ground alone), all descended, according to London lore, from a pair released by Jimi Hendrix from Carnaby Street in 1969 as a peace gesture (more psychedelic than doves?). Ring-necks have been known to strip a vineyard in hours, but have so far only caused £10,000 of damage. Surely the sight of an emerald flock above the streets of South London is more than enough compensation? Let the birds be free, we say! GH