Before becoming an academic, Porath worked for a sports management and marketing company and had observed first-hand how people were affected by the constant belittlements, insults and verbal digs that were considered part of the firm's culture. Her research confirmed her fears.
After a single incident of incivility, not including anything sexual or physical, 48 per cent of the hundreds surveyed decreased their effort at work, 38 per cent intentionally decreased the quality of their work, 80 per cent wasted time worrying about the incident, 66 per cent said their performance declined and 78 per cent said their commitment to the firm declined.
Twelve per cent said they had left a company because of uncivil treatment. For firms already struggling with motivating and retaining staff, the figures were staggering. Behaviour which was regarded as everyday was actually deeply damaging.
"A lot of people don't realise what they're doing at the time," says Porath. "And as people move up in an organisation, they are treated less and less honestly by their staff, so they have no idea how bad they are."
There are a number of reasons for rude behaviour, but by far the most common is stress. Over 60 per cent of people blame bad behaviour on excessive work. They say they don't have time to be nice. Just four per cent say they do it because they like to.
Many older people feel they have a right to treat their juniors as they were treated. They are not just acting out of revenge, however, but through a sense that they are doing their subordinates a favour by toughening them up.
Whatever the reasons for someone's rudeness, says Porath, the perpetrator will eventually pay. If it's Donald Trump claiming that rudeness is a form of honesty, he will eventually run into the little old lady in Atlantic City who held up his casino developments for years by refusing to sell him her modest boarding house. Being nice is much more successful over the long term.
Men and women, the researchers found, are equal offenders, but they tend to respond to incivility in different ways. Women are more likely to avoid the person who mistreated them, go outside the firm for sympathy, and then plot a quiet revenge. Men tend to be more aggressive and eager to publicise their intent to get even.
For companies trying to contain incivility, Porath and Pearson have several recommendations. Start from the top. If the leaders get away with it, everyone will have a go. Hire polite people.
Train managers in what to look for. But most important, when incivility does occur, take it seriously. Don't brush it off as an employee being over-sensitive.
Many companies tolerate rudeness in otherwise very successful employees — the rainmakers and top salespeople, for example. But they are exposing themselves to the higher risk of lawsuits and serious reputational damage. No one should get a pass.
Finally, when an employee leaves, you should make sure to interview them six months later. Few people tell the truth on the way out of the door. But with some time to think, they may.
