Pete Davidson — why I get the appeal of unconventional but funny men

The question of Pete Davidson and quite how he does so well with women is something I haven’t understood at all until quite recently. I always thought there was something utterly grimy about him, but having dated Ariana Grande, Kim Kardashian and now Emily Ratajkowski – no one can deny he’s not got it, which in Pete Davidson’s case appears to be just BDE (big dick energy) and a sense of humour.

I’d assumed the former SNL comedian was one of those famous types who was famous for doing very little at all, but the fact he’s a comedian makes everything else make sense. Let’s face it, his half-shut, stoned-looking, brown eyes, dodgy facial hair and fairly appalling tattoos (he has the word “Goon” tattooed next to a Great White Shark on his chest) don’t exactly make him attractive in any conventional way.

But having recently been on a few dates with someone else I’d put in the PD category, I suppose I do get it more. This guy was a Ben Stokes lookalike of a bartender, and there was also something a bit grimy about him, which made it hard to tell how attractive he actually was. The equally awful tattoos and dodgy facial hair were pretty Pete Davidson, but so was his BDE and a sense of humour that made up for the tattoos in some ways. Essentially, this guy gave you the impression that he’d be a bit of fun, and that’s exactly what Kim K says she was looking for when she went after Pete. Specifically, she’d heard that the BDE was, well, backed-up, and Pete Davidson has also gone viral this week for “confirming” that.

Aside from that (and the cheap, semi-indignity of a man having to spell out that he has a huge penis) Pete Davidson’s appeal seems merely a matter of confidence. After all, in the dating world especially, confidence is everything and making them laugh goes a million miles more for most of the women I know than model looks and dull conversation. In that way, the Pete Davidson effect should give a lot of other men more confidence. Maybe, like the guy I dated, you have a tendency to leave your clothes in the washing machine for too long, leaving a stale milk smell on your person and think mince cookery is sophisticated enough for a dinner in, but if you have the kind of roaring laugh that people gravitate towards and a quick wit that surprises someone, it’s all good, the Pete Davidson theory says.

At 28, he’s also dating mainly older, more successful women (Kim was 15 years older, Ratajkowski is five years older), which says a lot about what they think they’re getting out of it. In my experience, older women date younger men in the beginning purely because they’re looking for fun, both in and out of the bedroom. If someone can make you laugh, that’s a hell of a lot more interesting than looking at someone’s perfectly chiselled jawline or abs.

It makes me wonder if a whole new type is emerging. As well as Davidson and Stokes, I’d put Kevin Pietersen, Kurt Cobain, Chris Brown and Professor Green in the same scuzzy-fit category. Adam Driver might even make a classier cut with his 14-year-old half tash and Jarred Leto is edging in, although it’s harder to tell why. These alpha-males are usually never clean-shaven and have a kind of wildness about them that suggests they both have a bit of a temper and got home super late last night. They look like they drink too much, might even have a few arrests up their sleeve, and you wouldn’t put them past snorting drugs in a public toilet. But there’s an energy that makes you want to be around them. What I wondered, then worked out, during my dalliance with this type of man, was what exactly that surface-level need to constantly make you laugh is hiding - when they go deep, these guys go deep. It’s a well-known fact that comedians are often some of the saddest people alive.

Why is that attractive? Knowing someone can hold a room but has a vulnerable side is powerful. It removes the surface level effect of a great sense of humour and suggests there’s much more to a match, something deeper that will keep it going - and if only ‘you’ get to see that side? Well, isn’t that what love is, knowing someone or at least believing you know someone better than anyone else does?

BDE is all well and good, but BDE boys who can do deep, now they can get any woman they want.