Ben Machell & Son (age three) set up their first cake business

“Each time someone came past our cake table, my three-year-old jumped out at them like a sweaty little leprechaun”

26 July 2018

Not long ago, I was at work when my girlfriend sent me an email.

‘The local primary school is doing a fundraising bake sale,’ it read. ‘Shall we bake some cakes?’

I had to take a moment to process this. Bake sale? It only seemed 10 minutes ago that we would email one another at work with the sole purpose of flirting outrageously. Or at least, to flirt outrageously by my admittedly uptight, highly formal standards (‘Hello’ ‘How are you?’ ‘My name is Ben’ ‘Do you like sending emails then?’ etc). But the thing about office email flirtation is that, if you’re not careful, one thing will lead to another and in the blink of an eye you’re stressing about getting involved in bake sales as part of a craven attempt to ingratiate yourself with the primary school you very much hope your two young children will end up going to. I’m not joking. This will one day happen to you.

Obviously, we signed up. The deal was that my girlfriend would help my three-year-old son with the actual baking, and that I would help him shift the product when it was ready. The good thing was that you just sold the cake from right outside your house, which meant, as I explained to my son, the name of the game was attracting foot traffic. We had our little table, a nice big sign (‘THOMAS’ TASTY CAKES!’) plus one banana loaf and one chocolate and buttercream cake going at 50p a slice. Which really is sensational value.

So we stood there, expectantly. It was very quiet. It was incredibly hot. The buttercream began to melt. Thomas was happy, but curious to know where everyone was. A jogger ran past. Then a mum trying to get her baby off to sleep in a pram. Then some builders drinking cans of beer. Each time, Thomas jumped out at them like a sweaty little leprechaun. Each time… rejection. The possibility that nobody wanted his tasty cakes seemed just about to dawn on him when, like an angel, Debbie from next door appeared and bought two slices. Then it was Darren and Jim, our other next-door neighbours. Suddenly, it seemed like everyone wanted some cake. Grannies! Whole families! Dads coming back from doing their dad exercise! We were absolutely buzzing. Say what you like about capitalism, but when it works, it doesn’t half make three-year-olds happy.

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Ben Machell

Ben Machell & Son (age three) set up their first cake business

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