You beauty! MAC 5-Alarm lipstick

Valentine’s Day is just around the corner, which means one of two things. It’s either:

1) ‘I can’t stand this exploitative, commercialised bollocks. Why would anyone want to sit in an overcrowded restaurant surrounded by dreary couples (who probably never have sex, and when they do it’s with someone else) to eat an overpriced menu?’

Or it’s:

2) Kissy lips

If it’s 1, see you next time. If it’s 2, welcome to MAC’s Red Red Red collection: if you’re going to go red, this assemblage of pigment hollers, then go red. True, there are some alarming eyeshadow shades in the collection that could be called Vivid Conjunctivitis, and which should probably be left to the professionals (in both senses of the word), but some of the Casual Colour creams for cheek, lip and eye are accessible nude-pinks and blushy apricots; tremendously malleable and versatile.

My favourite item in the collection is the 5-Alarm red lipstick, a sheer pop of cherry that, when blotted, fades down to bruised and Zooey Deschanel-y. A red lip says you’ve tried. It says you care. It says you’re keen for your mouth to be noticed. It says: ‘Happy Valentine’s Day.’

MAC 5-Alarm lipstick, £15.50 ()