Quiz: Are you too feral to return to the office?

It’s only a matter of time before the email arrives in your inbox.

It will be a polite, but clear, warning that you will be expected to return to the office at some point this summer.

You’re excited (after-work drinks, yay!) and nervous (what, no more elastic waistbands?), but - after an entire year spent WFH - can you handle it?

Take our completely non-scientific quiz to see how office-ready you really are.

Your phone rings. Do you:

a. Answer it after one ring, in your practised phone voice.

b. Let it go to answerphone. You won’t ring them back.

c. Start gnawing on your own fist.

Your feet are:

a. In proper shoes with proper soles.

b. In fluffy Birken-clogs.

c. Sprouting hair.

You are summoned to a Zoom meeting. You are wearing:

a. A “statement” blouse and some gobstopper earrings.

b. Business on top, party on the bottom! (Party = joggers).

c. A bedsheet and a tinfoil hat.

When you think about your colleagues, you feel:

a. Misty-eyed. What a team! Can’t wait to see them.

b. A little tired.

c. Fearful. What do they want from you?

It’s lunch! You’re eating:

a. Home-made ramen.

b. Toast. But you have some salad on the side?

c. Baked beans from the tin, with your fingers.

You’re taking a brain-break! You:

a. Go for a power-walk, while listening to an episode of The Daily.

b. Slump on the sofa and cry into the cat’s pelt.

c. What brain?

Mostly As: you’re ready for this! Be gentle to your lesser colleagues. They may find you intimidating.

Mostly Bs: you can do this. Remember: you can always go to the loos and cry.

Mostly Cs: do not re-enter society.