Do you feel like you always have to be funny?
Yes, and it can be tiring when you're not in the mood. I remember seeing Courtney Love on Jonathan Ross's show once and all she had to do was answer the questions. Whereas when I am on his show, I feel that if I'm not funny, I'm not keeping up my end of the deal.
If you were lazy and illiterate, who would you ask to ghostwrite your autobiography?
I was shocked at how many people assumed I would have a ghostwriter. I wanted it to have my voice. But if I had to choose, it would be Alan Bennett, because it would be great to spend time with him.
Why does your book finish in 2000?
I wanted to write my life story up to a certain point. When I first had success in 2000, journalists would write about my years of struggle and it surprised me. Now, with the perspective of time, I can see that it was a hell of a struggle. I used to throw so much mud at the wall, waiting for it to stick.
What was your darkest moment?
Not long before my big break came I remember thinking it was probably never going to happen for me. It was 1997 and I thought, 'This is my life now': a little bit of voice work and a little bit of presenting work on a regional scale.
Are the rumours that you've had a hair transplant true?
There's a roaring trade in people being body-snatched from the street and having their hair cut and then put on to the heads of minor celebrities like myself. I seemed to have played a part in it, but unwittingly.
There is a theory that comedians shouldn't be too buff - do you agree?
People can empathise more with you as a comedian if you're battered around the edges. I certainly tick that box - people don't feel threatened by me.
Who's the funniest stand-up you've seen?
Robin Williams for the intensity of laughter. I saw him a couple of years ago at a charity gala and he per-formed his Weapons of Self Destruction tour. When he finished his set, he went on to improvise with the audience, which included Prince Charles.
Do you have a moral responsibility as a comedian?
Personally, I think I do. There are things that I wouldn't make jokes about. When it comes to swearing, I think some comedians using profane language is really to their detriment. But then if Billy Connolly wants to do it, he can - the man's a giant.
Small Man in a Book is published by Michael Joseph in hardback at £20 and enhanced ebook at £14.99
