Why single dads are irresistible

When my sister told me that Hugh Grant's performance as hapless Will in the romantic comedy About a Boy reminded her of me, I laughed out loud. But it did make me wonder, as Hugh happens to be a good friend of mine. Perhaps he really had used me as a template. Will pretends to be a single dad to attract women. Okay, maybe I'm not as irresistible as Hugh Grant, but I have to admit my daughter, Ellie, is a bit of a babe magnet. When I'm with her, I can't believe all the female attention I get. It seems women find caring single fathers incredibly sexy.

I fell in love with Ellie the moment I saw her - she was born on New Year's Day, 1996. Sadly, my marriage broke up when Ellie was two. After another three-year relationship went the same way, I knew Ellie would be the only constant female in my life.

I see her as much as I can - as a film sound editor I am often on location - at weekends and during school holidays. She even comes to see me when I'm working abroad on location. I first noticed the effect she had on other women one Saturday, while shopping in the supermarket.

Ellie was five at the time and loved to push the trolley. She would march down the aisle, concentrating so as not to bump into anyone, while I tried to tempt her with various ready-meals. I suddenly noticed that women were smiling at me - invitingly. Even gay guys seemed to be giving me the eye. It never happened when I was on my own.

Invariably, girls would come over and say how delightful Ellie was, and we would strike up a conversation naturally - no need for cheesy chatup lines. Suddenly I wasn't a single man with only one thing on my mind, I was a sharing sort of guy with responsibilities, and totally au fait with the fish fingers versus spaghetti hoops conundrum. And it is not just in supermarkets. Once Ellie and I were mucking about in Selfridges, pushing each other over on the sofas and beds, when I noticed a very attractive lady watching us.

She stopped and said to Ellie: "I see you've worn yourselves out." We had a laugh and some distinctly flirtatious banter, then I asked her to join us for a coffee, which she did. It didn't go any further - she was married - but I still lapped up being told how "sweet" it was that I was such a lovely father.

I soon learned that ice-skating was another excellent opportunity to meet girls. This winter, at the Somerset House rink, I noticed a girl I rather liked the look of had befriended Ellie, who was wobbling along in front of me. Ellie was soon holding her hand so I made a joke about not being able to skate either (actually, I play ice hockey rather well) and asked if I could do the same.

We had a great afternoon with me hanging on to her arm, pretending to fall over, and afterwards I asked her out on a date. We had a few nice evenings out and I certainly got the impression that I could have taken it further if I'd wanted to, but that was enough of an ego boost at the time.

I particularly liked taking Ellie to her ballet classes. One week, I noticed a very good-looking mum smiling at me. We chatted and flirted a bit while waiting for them to come out of class. But I knew there was probably a husband or maybe she'd just gone through a divorce and I didn't want to get involved.

I think it's a lot harder for single mothers to find men who are willing to take them on. The only time Ellie disapproved of these minor flirtations was when one of her teachers caught my eye. She'd seen me with Ellie and given me an inviting smile that morning (well, I thought so) and I really wanted an excuse to say hello. I started guiding Ellie back to the classroom, saying I thought she'd left something behind.

But when she looked up at me in a funny way and said: "Why are we going back?" I realised that pulling teachers was a no-go area - far too complicated. Because I'd split from a long-term relationship, I was acting like a teenager, wanting short relationships that lasted only days - or even hours. But you have a commitment to your child and I'd never involve Ellie in anything she'd find embarrassing.

I used to weigh up whether I would date a woman by her taste in shoes. Now, I judge them by how they get on with Ellie. Women are always saying how cute she is, but some may not be able to cope when they realise Ellie always comes first. And if girls don't take any interest in her on the first date, I don't take it any further.

Although I met Kate, my current girlfriend, through work, Ellie was the catalyst. I organised a big lunch with friends and their kids to see if Kate and Ellie would get on.

They clicked straight away. Kate said she loved the side of me she saw when I was with Ellie, and for the first time I felt that she was someone special.