Why Macca's off to the Hamptons

We normally expect pop stars to spend their honeymoons in Barbados or Necker Island, but Sir Paul McCartney is expected to whisk his new bride, Heather Mills, off to the chillier Atlantic waters of the Hamptons, the exclusive seaside resorts where rich New Yorkers cool off on summer weekends.

Though it may not sound as exotic as the usual tropical locations, and it's certainly a far cry from their home towns of Liverpool and Washington (the Tyne and Wear one), the Hamptons would certainly be a good bet for the camera-shy couple, as exclusivity is guaranteed - only multi-millionaires need apply for a beachfront home here.

The couple were rumoured to have been heading for the East Hampton home of John Eastman, the brother of Sir Paul's first wife, Linda. And although his estate is in the old part of East Hampton, the swishest of the Hamptons (there are about eight main towns on a stretch of around 20 miles), it may well be that Sir Paul opts for his own secluded converted barn, hidden deep in heavily wooded grounds. "Armed response" signs should keep even the keenest paparazzi at bay.

Tourists, too, are kept at arm's length in the Hamptons. Strict local planning laws have prevented any major developments, and there are almost no hotels. Instead, the rich - and very rich - buy or rent the shingle-fronted houses. Closecropped lawns, high hedges, toy-town ornamental gates, gravel drives and ocean views give the impression of Stockbroker Belt-on-Sea. But these multi-million dollar playgrounds - everyone from P Diddy and Calvin Klein to Kim Basinger, Martha Stewart, Barbra Streisand and Steven Spielberg has a home here - are usually protected by high barbed-wire fences, and children are ferried around in fortified 4x4s boasting bulletproofing and blacked-out windows.

As a long-time resident of East Hampton, I have watched (sometimes with horror) the community grow steadily in size and wealth. Though people complain, they continue to flock to what is one of the few resorts in the world with miles and miles of unspoilt beaches. They more than flock: they jet or helicopter in to avoid the backlog of traffic from New York City, which in the heat of the summer can make the journey up to four hours long.

If you want to be made to feel really poor, try renting a house in the Hamptons, known as the Beverly Hills of the East, for the summer. This was the purpose of my recent trip now that we've outgrown staying with the folks. Basically, as it was made perfectly clear by the real estate agent, what you get in Italy or France (a house that sleeps 12 with a maid and chef) won't even get you a shack in the Hamptons (and forget a maid, they cost ?£18 an hour). I tried doubling the budget (for curiosity's sake) and still found myself looking at houses three miles from the ocean with a view of the garage of the house next door and the not so gentle hum (a roar is more like it) of the Montauk Highway. "You really need a pool?" the agent kept asking. Next he would be asking if we needed toilets and running water.

The Hamptons are all about bucks - big bucks. "It's mostly Wall Street and Hollywood money," says Fabio Velez of Allen Schneider's East Hampton office, who last week sold a $20 million unmodernised beach-side estate, which, in the Hamptons' terms, is standard stuff. Lee Radziwill's house, for example, which last summer rented for a cool $500,000 for three months, recently sold for $16 million, and Billy Joel's ocean-front estate (a stone's throw from us - that is if you throw it above the 12ft fence) went for $30 million. As I motored down the highway, crammed like a sardine in the Hamptons' Jitney (the bus that leaves Manhattan on the hour), another European client was also winging his way over. Except he came on his private jet to be greeted by a bus (he arrived with 20 staff) at East Airport and be taken to view his $200,000 August rental. When that's who you're competing with, you can see how people like me end up in a toiletless shack two feet from the highway.

But still we keep coming back. The roads are crowded, the restaurants booked up months ahead (you can't get a reservation at Nick and Toni's for love nor money unless, of course, you're regulars like Streisand and Spielberg), ?£50 buys you a very small container of lobster salad at Loaves and Fishes in Wainscott; and Main Street in East Hampton now looks like Rodeo Drive: there's Tiffany, Prada and Dolce & Gabbana all within easy reach.

"The good things about the Hamptons are being extinguished, eaten up or destroyed," moans one resident, Steve Gaines, author of Philistines at the Hedgerow: Passion and Property in the Hamptons. "I think this place is in danger of becoming a carnival." Manhattan now has a huge anti-Hamptons brigade, a group of mainly downtown folk such as my design friend Michael Maharam, who cannot be lured, no matter what goodies are offered. "The concept of the Hamptons irritates me because it seems that all the worst attributes of Manhattan migrate east and corrupt an otherwise lovely locale," he says.

Design curator Janice Blackburn defends East Hampton, where she has a home: "The reason people hate the Hamptons is because they assume that you're going to 15 cocktail parties a night and rubbing shoulders with celebrities at Nick and Toni's. What people don't know is that you can walk down the beach for miles without seeing a soul. It's a beautiful place to be."

The real Hamptons residents don't venture out beyond the gates of their compounds other than to pick the odd fresh vegetables from the street-side vendors or have a late-night ocean dip. The social scene revolves around suppers with friends, tennis, barbecues and charity events. The cars and crowds are largely rubber-necking tourists and weekend house guests looking for a glimpse of celebrities.

The real reason the summer rentals are so exorbitant is that people are prepared to pay through the nose not to be near anyone else. "There are plenty of houses south of the highway to be shared with 10 friends," says Oliver Nixon, editor of Hamptons magazine, "but if you want privacy and access to the beach it's going to cost you." And mind you, those who rent for the season (from Memorial Day, 27 May, through Labor Day, 2 September) often only use the house on weekends.

The best reason, though, for the McCartneys to choose the Hamptons for their honeymoon is the residents' utter indifference to celebrities. Though money talks in the Hamptons, it doesn't let anyone skip the queue of circling private jets at East Hampton airport, or avoid the traffic on the Montauk Highway. Unless you are Bill Clinton. But even when the president visited before leaving office, the police needn't have bothered with the roadblocks. Rather than crowds waving flags, Clinton got an empty road. Everyone stayed home.

Mystery surrounds Macca wedding venue
Travel: features and facts