We're the 'weekend parents'

It's 8pm on a Thursday evening. Rosie is celebrating her ninth birthday with her parents, Hilary and Mervyn, plus siblings Louise, 12, and Rory, five. Dinner has been delayed as her parents, who are both doctors, had planned to be home for 6.30pm but were delayed by patients. After apologies and kisses, they settle down and light Rosie's candles, enjoying the remaining hours of a rare weekday evening together. Usually, by the time this couple's working day has finished, the children are in bed.

According to a recent study, this scenario is the norm in many households with high-flying, hard-working parents. It seems that "weekend parenting", where both partners work outside the "nine-to-five routine" and only see their children for snatches of time during the week, is becoming more common. Hilary Allen, 41, and Mervyn Patterson, 42, who both worked as NHS GPs had actually changed their careers in a bid to see more of their children by going into private practice. But things haven't quite worked out as planned.

The demand for the kind of cosmetic treatments they offer is so high they're working just as hard as before. They leave their large country home in Danbury, Essex, at around 8am and work 12-hour days. The couple opened their own practice, Woodford Medical Clinic, three years ago. The main centre is near their home, but they also have a clinic in Harley Street. Once a month, they treat patients in Cambridge, Derby, Sussex and Guernsey. On top of this, they fit in training sessions to keep up with the latest techniques, and Mervyn is a regular speaker at conferences abroad. Both relish the buzz, but admit they don't see as much of their children as they'd like.

Mervyn says his evenings are still invaded by work. "I make promises to the kids that we'll do things together in the evenings but with my laptop, email and mobile phone constantly by my side, I find it difficult to switch off."

Hilary finds it easier to draw the line when she arrives home, but has to resist the temptation to flop into a chair, exhausted. "We have a great nanny, Debbie, who is very accommodating. Invariably, I'm not in until about 8.30pm. Tiredness makes me pretty irritable, but I try to help with homework or read with the younger ones if they're not in bed.

"The children have never known us not to be at work, but they get along brilliantly with their nanny. I feel pulled in two directions when Rory says, 'Mummy, please don't go to work today', but there's no other way. I'm in a whirl trying to squeeze my domestic life into my work schedule but I'm determined not to miss seeing my children grow up.

"I don't think we overcompensate by spending money on them. I like to believe that they respect the fact that they have a nice life and we're working hard to give them that. The one indulgence is riding lessons, which they all love. I probably spoil them with cuddles, if anything.

I make sure I never shut them out and, physically, we're always close."

Mervyn's frequent working trips abroad do not go unnoticed. "Rory looks at me packing my overnight bag and asks plaintively, 'Where are you going now dad? When will you be back?' I could work one day less a week, perhaps, but this is such a fast-growing, competitive industry you've got to keep ahead of the game. It's exciting and, more importantly, it's securing our children's future."

"Of course the money is part of it," says Hilary. "But apart from spending a good deal on top-of-the-range equipment for the clinic, we are driven by the fact that our children will never have to struggle. Each has enjoyed private education at around £1,600 a term and we feel it's a wise investment."

Mervyn wouldn't have it any other way, but says he repeatedly misses school events. Although he makes a point of attending sports days, it seems his choice of physical pastime is a source of conflict. "My one indulgence is to play hockey every Saturday afternoon," he admits. "I'm deemed selfish because it takes me away from the kids, but the get-together with the lads makes me relax after a hard week."

Mervyn's hockey habit aside, the couple make sure the children get their undivided attention at weekends. Holidays are also a priority, despite the fact that their hectic work schedules means they can only take off a week at a time.

"I used to feel guilty about working when the kids were younger, but not so much now as I think that they're proud of us," says Hilary. "Frankly, they think that mothers who don't work are odd - they find women who go shopping all the time very strange.

"Actually, I did feel guilty when we were late home for Rosie's birthday. But I noticed the next day that Rosie had written in her diary, 'Had a brilliant birthday'. I honestly don't think she was bothered - she knew we'd be there as soon as we could."