The Sexual Paradox, by Susan Pinker

When I was growing up, I was always puzzled by the foreword in children's books: "Suitable for girls of eight and sensitive boys of 14". Who was this freakishly sensitive male child? Surely after years of feminism, we were all biologically equivalent? Apparently not. According to development psychologist Susan Pinker, there are huge differences between female and male brain chemistry. Forty years of discounting biology have led us to a strange and discomforting place, she argues.

Male babies are more likely to die, men to get every chronic illness and to have more accidents because of their risk-driven behaviour. Quoting biological anthropologist Richard Bribiecas, a man's life can be reduced to "stud, dud, thud", she writes, and yet this very fragility often propels them to the top.

If the majority of children with learning and behavioural problems (dyslexia, Asperger's, ADHD) are boys, why do so many of them end up further ahead in life than the "gifted girls" (high-achieving, disciplined) who showed so much early promise? Apparently, their single-minded commitment means they simply don't see the hurdles. Men with dyslexia or ADHD are 33 per cent more likely to work as entrepreneurs. Their social difficulties are counterbalanced by their strengths in the technical or physical world. Nor do they automatically lack romance. Pinker has spotted girl students wearing T-shirts with "Talk Nerdy to Me" emblazoned across them.

By contrast, empathy plays a role at pivotal moments in women's careers. We are hard-wired to listen and collaborate.

Arguably this is because we are primed to be expert at predicting the emotions and needs of those close to us - a mother needs to "read" her baby's face without language.

Not every woman is tender-hearted, of course - Pinker is very good on female bullies - but in the main, women react to stress with a "befriend" response.

And while men are powered up by testosterone, women get their own wonder drug, oxytocin, which is secreted during orgasm, nurturing and childbirth.

Pinker constantly seeks to question what she calls "the vanilla male model of success", yet she doesn't want to send women back to the 1950s kitchen.

We should have high-powered jobs, but on our terms. She found that about 60 per cent of gifted women turn down promotions or take lower pay so as to weave flexibility or social purpose into their lives.

Women are also healthier and live longer, and economists have found that we are happier with our work lives than men, even though we earn less (they call it the gender paradox). In fact she reasons it may be time to turn the spotlight on struggling boys.

This book is scarily dense, but there's refreshingly little jargon. Although she's based in Canada, the data is international, including research from Professor Simon Baron-Cohen, who comes out as a bit of a hero as one of the few men keen to explore the "extreme male brain" and find out why men score so low in empathy tests.

The book contains many uncomfortable home truths, but it is also full of optimism. And there is some great anecdotal research, my favourite being one about how women won't have sex with men wearing Burger King Uniforms (too low status, not a good provider).

But give them a fancy suit and a blast of aftershave, and we're right there. As Pinker sees it, a recognition of sex differences is not a retrograde step.

It may even be a sign of a free and educated society - where individuals are able to make their own choices. Both male-typical and female-typical traits have a place. We're equal but different..

Synopsis from Foyles.co.uk
In this controversial new book, Susan Pinker takes a hard look at how fundamental gender differences continue to play out in the workplace. By comparing the lives of troubled schoolboys and promising girls, Pinker turns several widely-held assumptions upside down: that the sexes are biologically equivalent; that intelligence is all it takes to succeed; and that men and women have identical goals.Pinker argues that men and women are not clones, and that gender discrimination is just one part of the persistent gender gap. A workplace that is satisfying to us all will recognize differences between the sexes, not ignore them or insist that we will all be the same. "The Sexual Paradox" reveals how gender differences influence ambition and success. Drawing on the experiences of many individual men and women, along with research evidence and examples from popular culture, Susan Pinker demonstrates how weaknesses can become strengths and that early achievements do not automatically translate into standard career triumphs.