The chef who couldn't tell a Ramsay from a Pot Noodle

He's back, and he's as angry as ever. Gordon Ramsay returns his award-winning Ramsay's Kitchen Nightmares to TV screens next week, using the f-word at a rate of once every 40 seconds as he attempts to turn loss-making Hertfordshire restaurant La Lanterna into a profitable concern.

When he arrives to sample the Italian fare, his response is straight to the point: "This is about as authentic as a f***ing Chinese takeaway."

For most struggling restaurateurs it would be the kiss of death. But for Alex Scott, it was the kickstart he needed to relaunch his failing business. The 29-year-old runs his loss-making Letchworth enterprise with a staff made up of his girlfriend, his best friend and a young assistant whose speciality is throwing bread rolls across the kitchen and who confesses, "I don't actually cook."

But so convinced is Mr Scott of his culinary skills that, despite running up debts of £180,000, he has splashed out £46,000 on a Mercedes car and £2,000 on a number plate that reads "A1 Chef ".

The dishes, however, are microwaved vegetables, frozen desserts and a supposedly Italian sausage platter that a horrified Ramsay likens to "two penises doused in parsley".

In a blind taste test, Mr Scott shuns two of the celebrity chef 's signature pasta dishes in favour of a curried Pot Noodle.

After he insists he was taught everything he knows by a "well respected Italian chef", Ramsay tracks down the mentor and finds he is a cab driver.

"This is straight out of an Eighties fake trattoria," rails Ramsay. "The food is f***ing disgusting and this place is in such meltdown that he's even let the most basic standards of hygiene slip. It's a breeding ground for rats, mice and all kinds of pests. The biggest one is Alex - he's been scurrying around in his own filth for far too long.

"And I've got a good mind to get that number plate off his car and stick it up his a**e sideways."

Ramsay sparked further outrage when he persuaded a vegetarian passer-by to sample a pizza by saying that it was meat-free - then revealed it contained parma ham.

Amazingly, after a string of expletivestrewn lectures from Ramsay - and a lesson in basic standards of cleanliness - Mr Scott begins to turn his restaurant around. Six weeks after his visit, Ramsay returns to find the chef is making fresh ravioli, Italian desserts and spaghetti with meatballs. "This is the kind of food he should be serving," says a stunned Ramsay.

Mr Scott says now: "It's been an amazing experience. Where we were taking in ?2,000 a week, we've now doubled it and are beyond our break-even point. I hadn't seen the first Kitchen Nightmares when I signed up to take part and friends said, 'Are you mad? He'll slaughter you.' But I am so glad I did it. Gordon's an amazing guy."