The biggest sunnies

Was there ever a better invention than sunglasses? No matter that your crow's feet are crowing from the rooftops, or your hangover so dire that your eyes look like Dracula's bride's - sunglasses will hide the evidence.

For the shy, they are a refuge. For the show-off, they are a statement. And for the celebrity, they are a trademark, as much a part of their personal style as any outfit they choose to wear.

Take the world's most famous sunglass-wearer, Jacqueline Onassis: so often was she photographed wearing mammoth shades that her "Jackie O" style has now passed into the lexicon.

Of course, there are sunglasses and there are sunglasses, and this summer it's the Jackie O look which has swept all other contenders away. You don't want to be messing around with Seventies Aviators (too clichéd rock star) or wraparound Oakleys (too royal family) - if your shades are not fantastically, gigantically vast, then, quite frankly, they are wrong. Aim for a pair with lenses the size of dinner plates and you're almost there.

"Grandest sunglasses of the summer" award must surely go to Celine: they measure a whopping 6.5cm in diameter. Second place goes to Missoni (6cm), with Chanel and Oliver Peoples at 5.7cm tying for third. Kate Moss is a fan of Oliver Peoples, and has been hiding behind hers for weeks.

If you've not yet tried big boggling goggles, then be warned - they might take some getting used to. My first foray made me feel dizzy: there was something strange about having such a huge expanse of sweaty plastic over my face, a sensation not helped by the lenses being so dark. I felt as though my head was in a goldfish bowl: not a nice sensation after a few white-wine spritzers, but suffer one must to be stylish, eh?

Why such a great big cover-up has occurred this summer is a mystery. Is it the everlasting influence of Audrey Hepburn? Are we worried about sun damage to our delicate eye areas? Or have we just been going on more after-work benders than usual? I couldn't possibly comment.

But while life in plastic might be fantastic, don't get too attached. For when the sun goes down, you could find yourself left with a helluva pair of goggle marks. Always wear sunscreen, ladies.