That's just a tattoo too far, Peaches

A wise old man once told me that tattoos are like cats: the more of them you have, the weirder you are. That must make Peaches Geldof, who revealed her 20 tattoos on a beach in South America, certifiable.

Among others, she has some lyrics to a Nick Cave song on her back and a daisy chain from breast to knee.

Angelina Jolie is also, famously, magnificently decorated (and, also, not the most balanced of personalities). She has the birthplace co-ordinates of her six children on her arm, "Know your rights" on the back of her neck and, below that, revealed by a low-backed dress at last week's Bafta's, a prayer in Sanskrit. That's only about a quarter of her total collection.

But most people stop at one. For a start, it hurts. I had some small stars drawn on my hip about 10 years ago and all I remember about the process was trying not to punch the tattoo "artist" in a yowling pain-rage. It bleeds, too. Then it scabs over and itches. Then the stupid thing goes blue like a swallow on a lorry driver's hand.

Why did I get it? I still don't know. There is a theory that getting tattoos is a sign of insecurity: you decorate yourself because you believe that your natural body isn't enough.

Just look (and then stagger back in horror) at Amy Winehouse, an open self-harmer, self-hater and basket-case - and with more doodles on her than a schoolgirl's roughbook.

It used to be that tattoos were for the armed forces and criminals only; now, getting a "fashion tattoo" is unremarkable. Encouraged by celebrities like Sienna Miller, who has three quite pretty stars on her shoulder, and Cheryl Cole who has, among others, a little decorative squiggle on the side of her hand, the British public has taken to body art with gusto.

And if Samantha Cameron, wife of the Conservative party leader, creative director of Smythson and daughter of a baronet, can have a little dolphin tattoo on her ankle to remind her of a carefree youth, it must be OK.

Personally, I think a bit of discreet body art here or there is all right. I have even promised my boyfriend to get his name written on my bottom if we marry. The stars will have to go first, though - more than one tattoo would just be weird.