Stars of the show

When Roman generals celebrated a triumph, they had a slave in the chariot whose job it was to keep repeating, "remember, you are human". Perhaps they should get one for Piers.

TONY PARSONS
He is the real thing in an age where so many "columnists" cling to the pages of newspapers like chewing gum on cinema seats. It is a heady pleasure to read someone who produces work in The Mirror tradition of Cassandra and Waterhouse.

Some of my best friends are columnists, so I know the difference between those who are simply milking the prejudices of their target audience and those who are truly angry - or amused. Really, it all comes from the ability to think. You always get the impression Parsons has done his thinking before he lets you have it.

JIM SHELLEY
His byline carries the tag line, "Jim Shelley digs deep". As watching most television is about as appealing as browsing through a toxic-waste dump, Shelley should be decorated for hazardous service as well as for producing one of the most entertaining pages of TV comments.

People outside Fleet Street have no concept of how mind-numbing it can be to watch TV as a duty. Shelley does it, then he winnows out the few specks of gold from the mountains of dross he has consumed. It is a brave talent to amuse.