Sorry, but itz ova

I think of you as a friend. I'm just too busy with work right now. I'm gay. There are no end of lines with which to end a relationship. But there's only ever been one honourable way to deliver them: face-to-face. Dispensing the coup de grace through any other means is unacceptable, isn't it?

Not anymore. There was a time when 'chucking' someone with a phone call would have been the height of bad taste. But the rise of electronic media has led to the coming of age of an even more impersonal method: e-dumping, the use of text message or e-mail to call time on an amorous liaison.

It's a growing practice. A survey by Internet search engine LycosUK in 2001 found that 13 per cent of Britain's mobile phone users have dumped someone by text message.

So how do those on the receiving end of an e-dump feel about it? Consider this anecdote from our own Under Offer dating column. Musician Andy Allcorn, 31, took part in July this year and chose to go out with illustrator's agent Charlotte Berens, 31. They got on well. But after a number of dates over a four-week period, Charlotte decided not to take things any further.

'The night before one of my gigs,' says Andy, 'she e-mailed me to say she wasn't sure about us anymore, that she'd met someone else and that basically it was over.' Was Andy angry about the method used to finish the burgeoning relationship? 'I was pretty sanguine, to be honest,' he says. 'At the end of the day, it's still communicating and it's a better way of doing it than just not returning my calls. In some ways, it's easier than having the face-to-face thing.'

Charlotte had a similar attitude. 'I did feel bad about e-mailing him,' she says. 'But I spent two hours writing the message and only did it so that I could hurt him as little as possible.' There are advantages, then, to dumping electronically. According to relationship expert Dr Pam Spurr - author of The Dating Survival Guide: The Ten Top Tactics For Total Success (£6.99, Robson Books) - the idea shouldn't bother us too much. With people increasingly using computers and mobile phones to start relationships, it's natural they should use the same tools to end them.

'Lots of people meet through the Internet and use e-mail and text to talk to each other,' she says. 'If, as a couple, you are used to communicating electronically, then there's little problem ending it that way.'

But there are times when an e-dump isn't on. Nobody would want to be in the shoes of the wife of the Malaysian man who this year, was granted permission to serve a divorce on his wife by text message.

Dr Spurr says: 'If you've had a significant sexual relationship, e-dumping is not really right. If you're hiding behind technology because you're too scared, it's appalling.'