"Oh, you don't want to listen to Tommy," says Sheen, who, amazingly, is finally sitting opposite me, eating roast beef. With his thick head of hair and crinkly cornflower eyes, he looks undeniably statesmanlike, an impression compounded when he asks me for news of the Irish peace process. Sheen, whose uncle fought for the IRA, fears for it, as he fears for so much post-Clinton. "This man," he says, meaning George Bush, "is a moron, if you will pardon the expression."