Sadie: My year of hell

Sadie Frost strides into the Covent Garden Hotel, coat open to reveal an eye-poppingly low-cut black top. She looks gorgeous, and she's got lots to talk about. She's buzzing with new ideas and plans for the future. And, with four children to look after, she says: "I'm spinning plates all the time, but loving it. It keeps me energised."

There's a new man, a renewed interest in music, a new TV series and a new collection from her fashion label, FrostFrench. Soon there'll be a production credit on a major film, and she's negotiating a two-book publishing deal. But the most important news is clear the second she bounces through the door: after a year that would have floored most of us, sexy Sadie's back on form.

"At the end of last year I thought, 'Right, I've had an awful year. It has to get better,"' she explains. "I've got everything going for me. I'm really happy, Jude and I are friends, the kids are great, I've got a lovely boyfriend. I'm a lucky person. I'm definitely not a victim, not the troubled Sadie everyone said."

Sadie's annus horribilis started in October 2002 when a then two-year-old Iris, the middle of her three children with Jude Law, swallowed part of an ecstasy tablet she found at a children's party in a club and had to be rushed to hospital. Sadie had seen her put something in her mouth and reacted quickly enough to retrieve the other half of the pill, but still the rumour mill had her to blame. "Those people are sick," she says firmly. "I saved my daughter's life!"

Sadie had just given birth to her third son, Rudy (she also has 13-year-old Finley with her first husband, Gary Kemp, and Rafferty, aged seven). Rudy was six weeks premature, and Sadie dived into severe postnatal depression. "It was horrible. I had mood swings, was insecure, hating myself, feeling like I was in a hole. You think you're going a bit mad. We were going on holiday to Thailand, and the thought of even packing a suitcase was overwhelming. My mind wasn't functioning."

In January 2003 she travelled to Los Angeles with her husband for the Golden Globe awards, where she was reportedly admitted to hospital after cutting her wrists. Not true, she says, wearily pulling up her sleeves to show there are no scars. "I wasn't well. I got very upset about a certain situation and I couldn't handle it. But I didn't cut myself; I've never had stitches. But we had a row, a few glasses were broken ... I have been self-destructive, especially when I had postnatal depression, but I didn't try suicide. And the good thing is, I'm better."

It was eight months before she felt okay again. "I couldn't eat, I couldn't sleep, and obviously my husband should have been giving me a hug. But that didn't happen, so it felt 100 times worse."

When Rudy was 10 weeks old, and on the day they were due to move into the home they'd refurbished in north London, Jude told her their nine-year relationship was over. "I just think he came to a crossroads in his life where he wanted to change," she says. He wanted her to stay home with the children; she needed to work. "And I don't think he ever understood why."

Her own father had left when she was little and she didn't want the same for her children. "I'd have done anything to try to work it out, but that didn't happen, so I had to pick up the pieces and move on. I'm not going to say it wasn't hard, but Jude is a lovely man; he's the most wonderful father. He's generous, giving, talented. I'm not going to slag him off."

When a couple splits in this way, they need time and space to lick their wounds. Sadie and Jude weren't given that luxury. Perhaps it was his fame, perhaps it was their achingly cool lifestyle, or the fact that they'd always seemed so completely in love, the perfect couple. Whatever the reason, once the cracks began to show it was open season in the media. Twice the police were called during rows. Twice a distorted version of events appeared in the newspapers. Sadie grimaces. "If we hadn't loved each other as much as we did, we could have walked away easily, but it was very raw and painful, so we went from love to hate really quickly. We'd shared everything, and we both had to renegotiate our lives. Sometimes Jude would be unhappy about something I'd done, or vice versa. And then, because we know each other so well, it just goes up. It's explosive.

"There were a couple of unfortunate events. I don't want to say anything more about it, but it was both of our faults. He's never bullied me more than I bullied him."

Some of the people around them were a little too quick to give advice, she says, but her best friends - her artist friend Zoe, Kate Moss, model Rosemary Ferguson, fashion PR Jaz Morris, singer Pearl Goffey - "just listened and gave me big hugs" while she worked it out for herself. She insists the divorce hasn't divided their close-knit group. "I'm still friends with Jonny Lee Miller, for instance, and he's Jude's best friend. It's the shallow people who take sides, and I'd rather not be with them anyway."

Their divorce became final last October. By then, Sadie was in a new relationship. "Maybe because I came from such an insecure upbringing, I need a soul partner," she explains. "I'm not very good at being alone. It's a big weakness." Later, Jude began dating 21-year-old Sienna Miller, his co-star in the upcoming remake of Alfie. "I've met her, and she was really lovely," says Sadie. "I'm pleased he's happy."

Things are getting better between her and Jude, she says. "We speak a lot on the phone. I hope we can be good friends and take the kids on holiday together, things like that, because we've got the most amazing children, and it's awful when parents don't get on. My mum never spoke to my dad from when I was about four. I don't want to play mind games and all that stuff. I just want us to be friends because we deserve it, and they deserve it!"

Do you still love Jude? "Yes," she says simply. "I'll always love him. But I wouldn't say I'm in love with him. He's the father of my three children. I still love Gary [Kemp]. If you have children with somebody, you need to be adult enough to communicate and be good parents.

"The big problem with me and Jude was that we're both strong personalities. Sometimes you need one person who's a bit more passive, laidback, and we're both so full-on. It can often be quite self-destructive." As if that wasn't enough, at the same time as all this was going on, Sadie's father, Name, was dying. An artist who'd "dabbled with heroin" in the Seventies, his illness affected his mind, and in their last meetings she had to take along a security guard in case he turned violent. "I was very scared of him, although he loved me so much. It was a terrifying relationship."

He was 58 when he died, shortly before Christmas, and for Sadie the funeral was yet another emotional journey. She met her two older halfbrothers there for the first time, and all three of his former wives turned up, including her mother. And, of course, the press. "They sent photographers to my father's funeral, pointing a lens just to get a picture of me looking distraught," she says quietly. "That's not right."

She stops, shaking off the sadness. "People have said to me, 'I'd be a basket case if I'd gone through what you've been through.' But it's made me stronger. I was like the princess and the pea. From the age of 16 I've had an amazing time, in my work and in my relationships. But life isn't perfect, and why should I be exempt?"

So, let's talk about the good stuff. First, there's her new man, flamenco guitarist Jackson Scott. They met when Sadie stayed in his mum's hotel in Spain, and they've been together almost every day since. They don't go out much, preferring to stay at home together, laughing. "I've never been with someone who's so spontaneous and funny. And in seven months we've only had one minor argument. We're so compatible."

He didn't know who she was when they met, which is one of the things she loves about him. "He's not from the scene; he hasn't a clue about anything like that because he was brought up in Spain. It's nice to be with someone who's so unjaded and pure. And he's very sexy. The pictures don't do him justice; he's gorgeous."

Jude had just turned 30 when they separated, and Sadie remembers telling her girlfriends that she'd never again go out with anyone under 30. A week later, she met Jackson - who's 22. "I know so many men who are 16 years older than their partner," she says defiantly. "I don't feel like some crinkly old woman next to him. It would have been better if he'd been older, but what can I do? He's not."

Will this be a long relationship? "I wouldn't like to say." She grins. "You never know, anything could happen, couldn't it?" Her new show on E4 sees her out and about interviewing people she knows or finds interesting: a mixture of artists, actors and designers.

She is also working behind the scenes. She has a drama and a documentary series in development with her own company, Blue Flower, and co-produced Sky Captain and the World of Tomorrow, an Indiana Jones comic-book-style-SF-yarn starring Gwyneth Paltrow, Angelina Jolie - and Jude. "We worked together on it last year, and that was hard because it had all just happened," she says. But she's thrilled with the end result. "It's our baby. So, out of negative things come some positive things."

She has also written two children's books. Her nephew, Sean, is deaf, and the family have all learned sign language; Sadie has written My Cousin Sean to help teach other children to sign, with profits going to the Deaf Society. A second book is inspired by her father. Meanwhile, her fashion label, FrostFrench, is thriving, and has launched a line at Debenhams called Floozie.

Sadie's clearly got her groove back, but the tabloids are still determined to see her as a tragic figure. So, when Kate Moss celebrated her 30th birthday and Sadie was photographed leaving the do a little worse for wear, all the headlines were about her sadness. "Yes, I was a bit pissed." She shrugs. "But I had a babysitter that night, the kids were fine, I didn't have to work the next day. Every now and again you should be allowed to let your hair down. Obviously I'm not."

Without Jude, however, she's less recognisable. Last summer, she travelled in Europe by train, revelling in her freedom. With all her evenings at home alone she's begun listening to music again, and realising how much she loves it.

"I feel really good inside at the moment," she says. "I looked pretty awful last year because of the stress and because I was sick. But now I like myself. I've gained weight and I feel more in control, so much more independent, like I have something to give."

Throwing herself into work has helped. "I like doing lots of different things, communicating with lots of different people. You've got one life, so why not try to cram as much into it as you possibly can?"

What Sadie Did Next starts on E4 on 25 March at 10.30pm. The full version of this interview is in the April issue of Glamour, on sale next week.