Quiet and discreet - the Scandies

When Ulrika Jonsson and Sven-Goran Eriksson were first introduced at a party last December, they soon slipped into their native tongue and exchanged "what-town-are-you-from?" chat-up lines.

It wasn't long, apparently, until they swapped telephone numbers, too. A shared nationality and a mutual love of football - or football players, in Jonsson's case - sparked off the dangerous liaison that led to this week's frenzied revelations.

But should the famously reticent and stoically reserved Eriksson decide to end his relationship with the socially ambitious Nancy Dell'Olio - the high-society darling of the Euro jet set, dubbed "the Dark Lady" by the Italian press - the two eloping Swedes may soon find themselves rather lonely.

Although there is a fast-living monied "Scandie" crowd in London - whose ranks include everyone from the Duchess of Gloucester (a nice Danish girl from the island of Funen) and Isabell Kristensen (the society fashion designer from Denmark) to Chelsea footballer Jesper Gronkjaer - who have made the Noble Rot nightclub and private members' bar in Mayfair their social HQ, the couple will not be welcomed with open arms by London's Scandinavian society set.

The word in such upper-crust circles is that Ulrika is behaving like a "tacky bimbo". Christina Knudsen, whose Danish mother, Kiki Tholstrup, recently married Roger Moore in a secret ceremony, says: "They will be on their own if they do get together. I don't think the Swedish community would accept this sort of thing. "The few super-wealthy Swedes who choose to live in London for tax reasons are notoriously snobbish and are embarrassed by the publicityseeking and boyfriend-stealing antics of the former model-turned-TV-presenter from a poor housing estate outside Stockholm.

Families such as that of Mathias Kamprad, whose father founded the Ikea empire, shun the limelight. Kamprad, 31, who with his two brothers owns a slice of the Habitat chain, recently sold his mansion in Pinner, west London - decorated with inexpensive flatpack furniture - and bought a penthouse in central London. Like his father, the married father of two is said to have an eye for a bargain and always travels second-class.

Ulrika's behaviour has already earned her a social red card from the Scandie set, and she is close to being sent off the A-list Euro party scene altogether. Insiders dread the possibility that Sven and Ulrika could be f?ted as a glitzy Swedish version of Posh and Becks.

"Ulrika is an odd one," says Soren Jessen, Noble Rot's Danish owner.

"She's certainly not part of Scandinavian society. She doesn't come to Noble Rot, as far as I know. She came over here to make her name by hanging out with footballers. She's from a very modest background in Sweden.

"The Scandie set can be as snobbish as the British can: there are a lot of class distinctions in Scandinavia. There is a quiet and very discreet wealthy set here that all know each other and they wouldn't want to mix with someone who is all over the tabloids."

In fact, the Swedes are in many ways more old-fashioned in matters of publicity and social manners than ourselves. A good example was the recent departure from London of Princess Madeleine of Sweden, the 19-year-old student who fled back home after being hounded by foreign paparazzi.

And when I interviewed Natasha Illum Berg, the blonde and beautiful aristocratic Swedish hunter who became embroiled in a murder scandal in Kenya when her close friend, artist Tonio Trzebinski, was shot, she was fanatical about not talking about her relationship with the married Trzebinski. She only spoke to me at all because I was a friend. She also told me that when she was brought up in southern Sweden, attending an exclusive boarding school, Lundsbergs, she was required to curtsy to any man she met up until she reached the age of 13.

Far from the noisy bars and burger joints that Jonsson has admitted a penchant for, the Scandie crowd prefers to dine at more discreet venues. Well-to-do restaurants such as Lundum's, the Danish restaurant in Chelsea that the footballer Mikkel Beck had shares in, and Garbo's in Marylebone. For a more glitzy night out, they will venture to San Lorenzo, in Knightsbridge, one of Eriksson's favourite hang-outs. Here you might also spot the languid Hans Rausing Jnr, the financier son of the Sussex-based Swedish billionaire food packager. A reformed wild child, he now has two young children and an American wife, Eva Kemmeny, the daughter of a Pepsi-Cola executive, whose sister is married to Jodie Kidd's polo-playing brother, Jack.

Even the more hedonistic members of the Scandie set are relatively well behaved compared to some of Jonsson's past paramours. "The Swedes and Danes are more balanced in their behaviour," says Noble Rot executive Christian Berthelsen.

"There is no party scene in Sweden. That's why sports players want to come to London, for the parties. Players in Sweden are brought up to play football and not go out, and not get their private life in the papers."

No, if Sven wants a social life, he's better off sticking with Nancy. Ulrika's Italian rival is a lot better connected and much more palatable to the Swedish set. Dell'Olio, after all, counts several top fashion designers and the Italian prime minister, Silvio Berlusconi, as friends. And the fiery New York-born Italian socialite is unlikely to give up without a fight. Even if it does involve keeping a police escort waiting impatiently while she puts the finishing touches to her make-up and outfit before facing the Press outside their Regent's Park home.

There is no need to let standards slide, whatever the occasion. Something the Scandie set would heartily agree with.