No more Monkey business at ITVD

THE hot-dog van outside ITV Digital's headquarters was doing a roaring trade on Wednesday. Some 300 people turned up for the auction of the remaining assets of the collapsed pay-TV venture.

A sexy American blonde auctioneer ran the bidding at a swift pace, quipping: 'I'm looking at you sir because I want more money.' When it all got too much, people popped outside for a burger and cup of tea - thankfully at bargain prices.

Nothing else was cheap. ITVD's woolly toy Monkey mascots fetched £150 each. A 14-inch second-hand Sony TV (plus a digital receiver) went for £110 - more than a brand new TV.

The down-market auction was a far cry from the star-studded £90m launch of ITVD in 1998, which was fronted by Swedish beauty Ulrika Jonsson. Granada and Carlton, who invested more than £1bn in the venture, must be cringing.

More than £10m is likely to be raised from the auction, but much of this will go on fees for administrators Deloitte & Touche. A signed photograph of Jeremy Beadle and a hand-held food-mixer go under the hammer today.

Hi-tech studio equipment may be picked up by BSkyB or other broadcasting rivals.