My London: Helen Mirren

Where do you live and why? I spend a lot of time in New York but Battersea was my London home until recently. Now my husband and I have bought a house in Wapping because he's very into the East London art scene.

If you could change one thing about your street, what would it be? I'd change the direction that my Battersea street runs in. That's the trouble with living south of the river - the best property looks towards the river which means it's north-facing.

Are you a member of any club? I discovered Blacks on Dean Street when I was doing Orpheus Descending at the Donmar Warehouse.

What was the last CD you bought? Something by a Spanish travelling group who I bumped into in New York.

Do you have a local restaurant? Corelli's in Battersea Park Road, where I like to hang out and drink coffee.

Where would you most like to spend a 'lost weekend' in London? I'd book a river suite at the Savoy because I love the way those rooms make you feel like you're in an old ship. I'd go to Gordon Ramsay's Chelsea restaurant for dinner and then I'd nip over Albert Bridge to Corelli's for coffee.

What keeps you awake at night? I suffer from insomnia occasionally but that's normally because I'm nervous about a new play.

What's your earliest memory of London? My parents taking me to the fag end of the Festival of Britain. I remember a red sculpture involving water pouring from one cup to another.

When did you last lose something valuable and what was it? I lost a very beautiful solid-gold watch that Peter Sellers gave me after we appeared in a terrible film together called The Fiendish Plot of Dr Fu Manchu.

What is the most beautiful London landmark? Waterloo Bridge as a vantage point to take in Battersea or the pagoda in Battersea Park. As you can see, I'm very much a swamp person rather than a hill dweller [Mirren's shorthand for North and South Londoners].

And the ugliest? The National Theatre is horrible both inside and out. The Cottesloe is the only space that works properly.

What's the last play you saw in London? Well, after saying all that about the National, it was Mnemonic - at the National.

When and where did you last get drunk? I got tipsy last night in my dressing room because I was nominated for a Golden Globe [for best supporting actress for her role in Gosford Park]. It only took two glasses of champagne so I definitely need to get drunk more often.

Why is London a more intimidating place than New York? I feel mildly safer in New York at the moment because Central London seems to have got very overcrowded.

What's the most embarrassing thing you've ever done? I fell arse-over-tit down the stairs of a gentlemen's club. Everyone clearly thought I was pissed, which I absolutely wasn't. It was a very Bridget Jones moment.

When did you last lose your temper? Probably last night on stage. It's easy to do because the audience don't know where the emotion is coming from.

Where did you last blow £2,000 and what was it on? I don't really 'blow' money. I recently spent $65 on a plate of pasta but it did have white truffles in it.

What's the first piece of advice you'd give a London tourist? Go to the street markets - that's where you'll find the real personality of London.

What was the last conversation you had with a London cabbie? My father did the Knowledge, so I'm fascinated by cabbies. I tend to find that they're polarised - either very intelligent, like my father, or extremely bigoted.

When was the last time you broke the law? Probably fairly recently crossing the street from the theatre with a glass of wine in my hand - that's technically illegal in New York, as I think it is in London.

If you were invisible for a day, where would you go in London and what would you do? I'd go to the blackest black club in Brixton and hang out.

What do you miss most when you're out of London? The architecture. It's only when you go away and live in another city that you appreciate how incredibly beautiful London is.

Have you ever been a victim of violence in London? I was mugged once and it was horrible, but I've tried not to become all frightened and defensive.

What's the most expensive meal you've had in London and who did you eat with? Probably with my husband at Gordon Ramsay's in Chelsea.

What's your most memorable night out? Being taken for dinner at The Ritz for the first time. The dining room was like gay heaven - all pink and gold with cupids everywhere.

If your house were on fire, which three things would you rescue? I bet most people say photographs, don't they? Well, I wouldn't take photographs - I'd take a very old Chinese Buddha, my mother's old Singer sewing machine for sentimental value and, for practical purposes, my electric toothbrush.

Helen Mirren stars in Last Orders which opens Friday, 11th January.