Love in a hurry

Dating used to be a drawn-out hit-and-miss affair.

First you had to meet someone. Then you had to spend time getting to know them. Then there was the excruciating ‘So ... um ... I was wondering ... er ... do you fancy maybe ... um ... going out sometime?’ bit.

Then finally you went to see a pretentious foreign movie at the NFT that neither of you were really interested in but both of you pretended to enjoy.

There were two problems with this approach. Firstly, London’s a big place. Yes there is someone out there for you (according to online dating outfit match.com, one in three adult Londoners is single) but how can you be sure you’re going to find them?

Secondly, even if you did find them, the whole business of actually getting round to going out together could drag on for weeks and time is something Londoners don’t have a lot of.

Now a variety of new concepts have reduced the element of chance and taken the waiting out of dating.

Speed dating originated in America a couple of years ago and in the last few months has really taken off here.

It works on the principle that you can tell within a few seconds of meeting someone whether you are attracted to them.

Ben Tisdall, co-founder of Speed Dater (www.speeddater.co.uk) explains: “We get between 50 and 60 people along into a nice bar, equal numbers of men and women.

“Everyone is given a scorecard and a pen. The men sit down opposite the women at numbered tables. After each ‘date’, which lasts three minutes, you tick on the scorecard to indicate whether you’d like to see that person again and then move along to the next person.”

“After the event we provide everyone with the e-mail addresses of the people they liked who also liked them. The rest is up to them.”

It costs between £20 and £25 depending on the venue which is usually a location in central London such as the Oxo Tower or Turnmills in Farringdon. The typical member is a 25-40-year-old professional.

“We haven’t had our first wedding yet but it’s just a matter of time,” says Tisdall.

Speed Dater also organises special events for people with specific religious backgrounds, from particular countries or even in particular careers.

The company, with more than 15,000 single people on its books and up to eight events a week in London, claims to be the country’s biggest such agency but there is plenty of competition.

Other websites offering very similar services include www.originaldating.com, www.xdate.co.uk, www.hurrydate.com and www.40datesanight.co.uk.

Software engineer Andy Hill, 28, is something of a speed dating veteran having attended seven such events.

“I’m not expecting to meet the love of my life,” he says, “just have a laugh. I’ve hooked up with some pretty gorgeous girls I probably wouldn’t have met otherwise. Half the excitement is checking out how many matches you’ve got the day after.”

However, if you feel speed dating sounds a little basic, try Chemistry (www.chemistryevent.co.uk).

Chemistry describes itself as “a unique experience, a collection of innovative, funky and fun ways to meet more people”.

Essentially it’s a club night costing £39 and attended by around 750 single men and 750 single women.

The organisers provide a number of opportunities to meet people, everything from speed dating to salsa classes. Or you can just hit the bar and chat.

You are given personalised cards when you arrive and you give one to anyone you meet and like. They can then e-mail you via the website which features profiles of 8,500 people who have either been to, or are planning to go to, Chemistry events.

“Chemistry is a way to have a great night out and meet people at the same time,” says organiser Lee Bramzell.

“We found that 70% of the people that came to our May event went on at least one date as a result of it and the average number of dates was three.

“At our July event the average number of cards that people were giving out was eight. That’s the equivalent of going out with friends for the night and picking up eight numbers.”

All of Chemistry’s parties so far have been held at Vinopolis but Bramzell is considering a venue in Picadilly for the next one.

Speed dating and Chemistry too energetic for your tastes? Don’t despair. There’s always good old-fashioned internet dating.

You post a personal profile on a website. Other members who read it and like the cut of your jib can then send you a message and if, if you want, you can arrange to meet up. Simple.

Sally Jenner, 26, is in publishing. “I moved down to London from Yorkshire straight after uni and knew just one person down here. I got to know people through work and flatmates but I found it really hard to meet guys - partly because I was working long hours and partly because London just isn't an easy place to meet people of the opposite sex. I got into internet dating when colleagues at the office started doing it.”

In the two years Sally has been online dating she has met around 50 men. “Of those, maybe 12 or 15 of them have been really cool. I'm still in touch with some of them.”

Dating Direct (www.datingdirect.com) bills itself as the country’s biggest dating service. It charges from £4.95 for a three-day trial membership to £69.95 for a full year.

Founder Darren Richards, who met his own partner of three and a half years through his own website, says; “Online dating has been so successful because people have woken up to the fact that they can log on and source literally thousands of people in their own town. That compares pretty favourably with, say, joining a pottery class.”

www.match.com is another big internet dating service with more than 378,000 members in the UK. It claims to get news of more than 85 marriages or engagements on average each month.

www.Udate.co.uk is receiving 2,500 new registrations every day making it one of the fastest growing sites on the net.

And as if all that wasn't enough, more opportunities are on their way.

Friendster (www.friendster.com) is similar to online dating but with a twist. Already massive in the US, it’s just starting to become popular here.

When you post your profile you are asked for a list of your friends. If they sign up, they provide lists of their friends and so on.

A potentially vast social network is built up which you can access to up to four degrees of separation — ie your friends’ friends’ friends’ friends.

And if you see someone you like you can get the lowdown on them from your pals before contacting them.

And given that when New York sneezes, London goes out and buys some Lemsip, singles in the capital should start developing their night vision.

The latest dating craze in the Big Apple is ‘Dinner In The Dark’. A group of strangers meet in a restaurant to dine in the pitch black, served by waiters wearing army-style infra-red vision goggles.

The fact that no-one can see each other is supposed to act as a social lubricant, melting away inhibitions and making people more inclined to flirt.

Although dubbed ‘Grope In The Gloom’ by some wags, it’s proving immensely popular.

Start eating those carrots.